Hello all...Happy Sunday evening. I remember when I was still in school, I hated Sunday nights. Mainly because I was a procrastinator of sorts and I was usually studying or doing some project that I had put off all weekend, with an extra dose of stress because of it. I also dreaded that fact that Sunday night meant my weekend was over...Monday morning loomed over me like a dark cloud.
In a way, I'm still like that. Although I no longer feel that way about Sundays. Now, I love Sunday nights. No more homework, no more stress, and no work on Monday! Sunday nights are actually one of my favorite nights of the week. But I still struggle with the dread of something looming over me. Usually it's when I have to get up really early the next day, when we have some big hurdle to climb at Church, or when I know that Travis is leaving the next day on a trip...or more recently, when I know I have to get out of bed and face another day on this current road. It's dark under this cloud and I long to escape it, but like a Sunday night, Monday morning is coming and there is nothing I can do about it.
So I cope. Just like I did in high school, only on a bigger, grander, more spiritual scale. One of the best ways I've learned to cope lately, is through the encouragement of other people who are facing or have faced a similar road.
I'm amazed at how God has ordered my steps in this last year and how He has brought me people, some of whom I've never met, in a variety of ways to speak truth and love into my life. Two of those new people, were just introduced to me this weekend, via the world of blogging.
My sweet friend Holly, sent me a link to a blog that she thought I might enjoy, because of the infertility struggle that "Kelly" is also experiencing. So of course I went to her blog and was so touched immediately.
Turns out, we have a lot in common. Like us, she and her husband have been married for 4 years, have experienced a very similar miscarriage, and are the "parents" of a furry child, a dog. I liked her already.
Amazingly, she also had one of those devastating days on Friday, when she also discovered that once again, she wasn't pregnant when she thought that this time, she was. How did I know that? She wrote an amazing post about it here. I commented immediately and she wrote me back. Can I just tell you that I don't even know her, but she means so much to me because we serve and love the same Jesus and she knows exactly how I'm feeling. I read her thoughts and wept because it was as if someone had read my heart...although she was much more eloquent than I was. She was a blessing to me.
Yesterday, she extended my circle a little further, when she posted a link to another amazing sister in Christ, who is facing a situation I cannot even imagine. Long story short, she and her husband are expecting their fourth little girl and they just received word from her doctor that her little body is not complete and she will, according to the wisdom of modern medicine, not survive childbirth. Can you imagine? They are faced with a mountain that I would be terrified to climb. How do you live, knowing your child will die, while trusting your Savior to reign over it all? This woman is new to me, although most of you would know who her husband is...he is the lead singer of the group Selah. His beautiful voice is very recognizable. Her blog is amazing, not just because of her gorgeous pictures and her writing ability, but because of her beautiful heart and her honesty. You can find her story here and I know you will be touched by her deep thoughts on trusting the Lord in the midst of unspeakable pain.
These two hidden gems, sisters in Christ, have touched my soul because they have cried out in honest despair and decided to place their broken hearts in the very capable hands of Jesus. Not sure of what the future holds, but determined to trust Him with it. Through their honest blogging, they have brought hope to my soul by pointing me right back to the one who made me...fearfully and wonderfully. I NEVER could have predicted that our paths would cross and I NEVER would have imagined how.
But my God is big and He is intimately acquainted with all my ways. He knew creative ways to speak to me and He knew just who to connect me with. The body supporting the body or Romans 12 in action..."rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn..." Such a privilege to be adopted into the family of God isn't it?
I'm also reminded that Jesus is even more familiar with my situation, with my suffering. Isaiah 53:3 says, "he was a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering." He is very capable of seeing me through and I'm doing my best to let him.
So be encouraged tonight, that no matter what you face, you are not alone. We have a Savior who knows what it is to suffer and He longs to have us trust Him with our pain. He knows it all and He sees it all. It won't always be this hard. One day, He'll wipe every tear from our eyes and this life of pain will fade away like a forgotten memory. He's also given us some hidden gems along the way...people to share in our sufferings, to pick us up when we've fallen and to walk hand in hand with. Our God is so good...
3 comments:
Stephanie - you are so sweet. I feel so much less pain when I read something like this because I feel as if there is purpose in my pain if I can encourage other women in our situation. It's not as hard when I know I'm not alone and when I know God can use it for the good!
Stephanie,
I found your blog from your post on Kelly's blog. It would be an honor for me to pray for you and your husband. After all, anything for a Hawkeye fan! I am an Iowa native, born and raised, except for a year I spend in Naples, Florida. I don't know about you, but I am READY for spring!
Blessings,
Heather
Thanks for sharing about Kelly and Angie's blog. I am so overwhelmed by the strength and faith and awareness of God's sovereignty of these women and you too. I am praying for you all.
rwg
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