The Plan :)

Yesterday was my weekly OB appointment and for the first time I found myself driving there thinking, "this had better be good!!"  After waiting and waiting and waiting, I needed to hear some kind of news that was going to give me some hope and an end goal in mind.  Thankfully, I got both!  

Now, I realized last night while on the phone, I have reached that point in pregnancy where I no longer have a filter.  I have discussed the state of my cervix with more people than I care to remember.  9 months ago, I wouldn't have uttered the word cervix, let alone talked about it or blogged about it.  That was then, this is now.  I need this baby out and I can't hold back any longer!  So, if this is already TMI, you may want to just skip over this post entirely :) I'm not going to get graphic or anything, but there are certain terms and words that just go along with the end and we've now reached it.  So, if you've had enough, I'm not offended.  Feel free to just wait for the pictures :) 

For those of you still wanting to know, here is the latest.  I am still not dilated and effaced enough.  However, I am now past my due date so my doctor is ready to move on...thank you Jesus!  My cervix is opened, but only slightly.  So, I will be going back on Thursday afternoon for another check, with the hope of admitting me to the hospital Thursday night, so that I can get a drug to "ripen" my cervix.  This is a good thing for many reasons.  The first being, my mental health.  I need some pro-active action.  Secondly, by ripening my cervix, this will make an induction much easier for me.  Not that it's going to be rosy, but if this drug works for me, it will help.  Still with me?  So, the tentative plan is to check in Thursday night, get this drug, and then be induced in the morning if my labor hasn't started already.  

Now, here is the tricky part.  My hospital considers any induction before 41 weeks, elective.  Which is good thing.  It's wise to regulate how and when people are being induced.  But, I'm not technically 41 weeks until Sunday. So, by scheduling me on Friday, I still fall into the elective range and I could be bumped if they are busy.  Now, I have to realize that is a possibility and not get my hopes up for Friday, but they are hopeful that they can get me in there anyway.  The "worst case" scenario is an induction on Monday, but we're hoping for something between Friday and Sunday.  If I do get bumped, at least my name will be on the list, so that is a good thing.  I won't know any hard and fast plans until Thursday afternoon, when I go back to my OB for another check.  

Obviously the best thing would be for me to go into labor on my own anytime.  Then we don't have to worry about timing and extra drugs :) But, since there is no way to know if that will happen or not, I'm very thankful to have a back-up plan.  At least I can rest my head at night and know that by this time next week, Ava will be here regardless!  

I have been instructed to spend the next few days on my feet, as active as I can.  Gravity is my friend :) Stacie and I did a lot last night and today we are planning on walking all over at Ikea, Mall of America, and maybe outside too.  It's a really nice day.  They told me to vacuum, scrub my floors, and anything I can think of.  Sounds good to me!  I need a distraction and I really want go in on Thursday, having made some progress.  

My family is trying to figure out when to come back, how long to stay, etc.  We all know that only God knows how and when she'll arrive, but we're trying to make tentative plans so that everyone will be here.  Stacie and Jesse fly back to North Carolina on Monday, so my prayer is still that she'll come before they leave.  My Dad is coming up tonight or tomorrow to hang with Stacie and I, and my Mom, Jennie, Dave and Jesse will be coming up Thursday night, if all goes as is "planned" right now.   

It seems like a lot to process and get stressed out over, but I am really trying to lay all those thoughts and any anxiety down and just trust the Lord with every detail.  He has the best plan worked out for me, for Ava and for all of us.  It will unfold just as He's laid it out and we'll be happy to go with it.  I spent some time in Psalm 139 this morning, pouring over the first 5 verses...

"Oh Lord you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord.  You hem me in-behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me."

I was comforted again with these words, reminding me that I am in very capable hands.  The Lord knows me.  He has actively pursued me and He is on top of everything I do and even think.  I am His and He is familiar with everything that goes on with me.  He knows the state of my body, He knows what's good for Ava, He knows the timing that will be perfect, and He isn't going anywhere.  But, the words that resonated deeply with me this morning are in that last verse.  He has already gone before me, laying out plans and preparing my way and now He will go with me and behind me, helping me walk in those plans.  Like a parent with a child, His hand is gently and firmly on me, guiding my steps to help me be obedient to what He's already ready done and to protect me.  I asked Him to help stay in the plans He's made, to be wise enough to know where and when to step forward and to trust Him as he leads me.  I have that visual picture of a Father who puts his hand on the shoulder of his child and guides them through a crowded path.  There is comfort for that child who feels his Father's presence and peace in knowing he is walking in the right direction.  

So that is where we are this morning.  Waiting, trusting, believing that God has an end in sight and He is going to help us get there.  We are thankful for my doctors, thankful for the nurses in our life (and in our family), thankful for our parents and our relatives, for our friends and Church family. We are covered in prayer and in the hands of our Father.  Even though I have made all kinds of plans and preparations, there is no place I'd rather be than there.  Thank you for asking about me, for sending me emails and leaving me comments.  I will keep you posted as best I can and update the blog as often as possible in the coming days.  I can't wait to meet my little girl and introduce you to her!!  

I'm off to start walking.....

Have a blessed day!