Mommyhood, Part Two: The Reality of It All

Look at that little angel face :) Isn't she sweet???  I've spent the last 2 1/2 weeks, sharing lots of pictures like this one of our little Ava and telling you all about some of our favorite "firsts" we've experienced with her and you've been very gracious to endure it.  Thank you! To say these last few weeks have been incredible, would be a gross understatement.  They have been full of so many blessings and so many fun moments, we are very, very grateful for this little gift the Lord has given us.  She is precious to us and has brought out a depth of love we didn't know we were capable of.  Please hear me say that we LOVE her and she was so totally worth the wait. 

However, whoever said that being a Mom is the hardest job in the world was totally right!  So far, in my 2 1/2 weeks of wisdom (ha ha) I have experienced every emotion known to man.  Sometimes I can't imagine loving her more and sometimes I can't imagine how I'm going to get through the next hour :) She has been a great baby.  She sleeps well, nurses well and is the cutest thing we've ever seen.  But she can also be quite demanding :) and she seems to have a truly fussy period every day around dinner time.  It's not easy.  But as much work as she can be, my hardest struggle is not with her, but with myself and with my "former life" that I had grown very accustomed to :) I have given up my hopes for a daily shower, a clean house, laundry that's done, bills that are already paid, and a fridge that is full!  I know that for this little season in life, it's just going to be this way.  As we adjust we'll find our own groove and learn to do life differently, but in the mean time, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not who I was 3 weeks ago and life cannot be what it was 3 weeks ago.  Nor do I want it to be the same!  The minute my doctor put Ava in my arms, everything changed.  Yes, there are incredible highs that come with being a new Mom but as many of  you know, there are also some lows as you try to navigate these very uncertain waters.  However, I have found much grace and hope in the following verse as I walk through these new and sometimes difficult days as a Mom.  

Isaiah 40:11

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart.  He gently leads those that have young."

I am so grateful for a Savior who tends to me, who carries me close to his heart and who gently leads me through this new season.  With Him there is no guilt, no condemnation, no reminders of my shortcomings.  Instead there is an abundance of grace and love, an understanding of the challenges that come with "having young" and a tender hand to lead the way.  I love being Ava's mommy, no matter how good I may or may not be at it :) And just so you don't think I'm looking for compliments, I do happen to think I'm very good at it!!  I'm all she's got for a mother and I don't intend to let her down.  But if I'm going to be honest, then I think I should let you know that amidst all the sweetness and the photo worthy moments, I'm just like every one else.  I'm on the other side of the camera, with greasy hair, spit-up stained clothing and huge circles under my eyes, dying for a little more sleep :)  And just when I think I can't handle one more minute, this little darling looks up at me with an expression that says, "Are you my Mommy?"  And my heart begins to melt all over again.  Ahhh, mommyhood :)