Things I Learned at the Dentist

I had to go to the Dentist today, which I have been dreading for awhile.  I don't like going to the Dentist at all, and the older I get, the more painful it becomes.  I've never had a very traumatic experience or anything, I just find myself lying there, totally creeped out by the things being probed and poked at in my mouth.  The taste of that fluoride, the scraping of metal along my tooth, the phone book they attempt to shove down my throat for an x-ray, yeah...not my favorite way to spend an afternoon! I would almost prefer to give birth, than sit in a Dentist's chair.  How's that for dramatic?  Today, I learned a few things that may explain my hatred for going to the Dentist.  My own Dentist is a lovely lady, so believe me, it's not personal.  Furthermore, I do realize that without Dentists, we would be in a pickle :) I would just die a happy person if I never had to visit her again!  

So in no particular order, here's what I learned today...

1.  Apparently I have a little mouth.  This explains a lot.  For some reason, no one has ever told me this, but it's all beginning to make sense now...

2.  A little mouth is not condusive for taking full mouth x-rays.  Lots of them in fact.  Little mouths prefer to be closed.  Without hands and instruments prying them open. 

3.  I have an extremely strong gag reflex.  This coupled with a little mouth, made taking endless amounts of x-rays, "delightful."  I could have told them that, but instead, we all got to experience it together.  Fun times.  And do you know what their remedy was??  Me licking salt out of my hand.  I felt like a little kid doing that.  Like a little kid who was being tricked to drink the "medicine" when it was really just sugar water.  Odd.  And I'm not sure it even worked??  I didn't know Dentists liked to play mind games, but apparently they do. 

4.  I have an extremely strong tongue.  Who knew??  Well, maybe my husband :) But he's never complimented me on the strength of my tongue,so I guess I discovered a new talent today!  Perhaps the one bright spot of my visit?

5.  I am an aggressive tooth brusher.  While I would have imagined that was a good quality to have in a person, I would now stand corrected.  I have done some damage to my gums, due to my excessively "hard" brushing. 

6.  My gums are receeding in 4 places, meaning my roots are exposed in 4 spots.  This explains the surges of pain I experience when I eat or drink something really cold, really hot or really sugary.  It explains it, but only enough to make me mad.  At myself.  It appears my "recession" is self-inflicted. 

7.  And to add insult to injury, apparently recessions = permanent damage.  Super.  There are some things we can do to lesson the pain, but no way to make my gums grow back.  Again, awesome. 

8.  In short, back to back pregnancies have taken their toll on my teeth.  I would even go as far as saying they have "wreaked havoc" in my mouth.  Do you thinks it's plausible to consider this part of the comprehensive curse of childbirth?  My Dentist did tell me not to "feel bad" about it.  I seem to have several very normal pregnancy related "issues."  Not sure that advice worked though...I felt badly about it all the way to Dairy Queen :)

9.  I am now the proud owner of prescription toothpaste.  Am I the only one who didn't know that prescription toothpaste even existed???  Well, now I have the joy of using it for the next year.  Yep, a whole year.  And I get to couple that with the toothpaste I've always thought was for old people with dentures, Sensodyne.  Ummm, turning 30 has come with all sorts of "perks!"

10.  I have the pleasure of returning for more "fun" in a few weeks.  Yes, I know.  That does sound like a wonderful way to spend the few hours I get away from my children, doesn't it??

Sedation Dentistry never sounded so good...