19 Weeks

I almost can't believe we're here, but today I am 19 weeks!!  The baby is now 8.5 ounces and 6 inches long, about the size of a large heirloom tomato!  That is crazy to me.  It sure feels like I must be carrying something bigger than a tomato in there!!  

Here is the latest "belly shot" of me, in my jammies tonight.  I have had the busiest few days, hence the lack of blogging.  We have had a whirlwind of activity lately and I have been on my feet for almost three straight 12 hour days.  I AM TIRED.  It kills me that I am already at 19 weeks, where has the time gone??  I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy is going.  Part of me can't wait for it to march along but the rest of me wants it to slow down before it's over!  I think after 19 weeks of this, I can now say that I really do love being pregnant!  

Sure there are days when I want to cry every time I try on clothes or think I can still "fit into" something, but there are so many other days when I just get overwhelmed with the miracle this is.  God has been so good to me.  It is such a privilege to be the one who gets to carry this baby.  It is the most amazing thing I have ever gone through.  I feel for Travis because no matter how I try to explain how it feels or how much he sees the evidence of my body growing, he just can't know what this is like.  He thinks that's probably a good thing, he knows what I'm in for :), but for every minute of discomfort or anxiety, I have ten times the amount of joy and gratitude for this baby God is creating.  I LOVE to feel those little flutters of life in me and I even love to see how my body is constantly changing.  Isn't our God incredible?  

As we hang on every detail of what's happening developmentally during this week, I can't help but give the Lord praise for His handiwork.  Down to the cells and fingernails and hairs of this baby, He has ordained every day and every detail.  I have to remind myself that what he is creating in me isn't meant to be mine.  We have the great responsibility of raising and caring for this little one, but ultimately we will be giving what He has created, back to Him.  As much as my heart is overflowing with love for this baby, so is His.  I love that thought.  And I need to reflect on it more to keep me from fear that can plague me.  He loves our baby even more than we ever could and  He is in control of all his/her days.  I take great comfort in that many mights when my mind wants to race with anxiety and worry.  I'm seeing how God is already calling me to lay down the "fears of motherhood" before I even get to meet my baby!  I've been telling people, it's a good thing the Lord gives us 9 months to be pregnant!  There are so many things I'm learning in the wait, it's a blessing to have some time to prepare and think about what this adventure really means for me.  It's certainly unlike any other I've ever been through.  

We are thrilled this week to be only days away from our ultrasound and to find out what the sex of this baby is!!  I seriously don't know how I'm going to sleep, except that I have an incredibly full and busy week ahead of me.  We are going to be thrilled no matter what we find out, but so far I've been thinking "girl" and Travis has been thinking "boy!"  We do have some names that we seem to be in agreement over, but we'll see how that unfolds.  I'm just anxious to direct my thoughts one way or the other and I'm more than ready to start SHOPPING!!  I've somehow been holding out, waiting to buy pink or blue, but my will is wearing thin and I'm going to cave if I don't make some purchases soon!!  We will be announcing our big news on the blog, but I'm going to warn you now, it won't be until later Friday night or early Saturday morning.  I've got a big weekend ahead that I'll tell you all about tomorrow, but it's going to keep me extremely busy and tied up for awhile.  I am so thrilled however, because my parents will be coming up Friday night to stay with us before they fly out to my sister's house, so we'll get to tell them in person when they get here!  YAY!!  But, I promise I won't leave you hanging too long, I'll get it up on here as soon as I can!!  

I'm sorry I haven't posted much lately, again, I'll explain what's keeping me so busy tomorrow!  Right now I am in such desperate need of sleep and maybe a back-rub if I can pull Travis away from the Cowboys' game.  We pulled off a huge, new student ministry event this past weekend and now I am paying the price for all my work!  It was a great turnout though and one I hope to round up some pictures of to share with you, it was so much fun for us and the students!  But Travis and I are like walking zombies at this point, so we need to be good and get our rest!  I hope you've had a blessed Sunday and I wish you a great start to your week!