Mother's Day

"Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.  He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." 

Psalm 126:5-6

I love that verse because it has been so true in my life.  The Lord is so gracious to never waste our tears or to let our pain go unnoticed and unused.  The reality for each of us is that life is filled with pain, no one can escape it, the best we can hope for is just that we wouldn't be overtaken by too much of it.  But with Jesus, pain is different.  It's still present, but it's not without purpose and certainly not without a comforter.  Sometimes seasons are hard, endless and overwhelming it seems.  Tears are not just present, they are work, we sow them into our daily life, learning to hold them at bay and other times just letting them flow.  But when we go forth weeping, continually, we aren't just shedding water that will fall on cracked ground.  If we are willing and if we will trust Jesus with our pain, He does an amazing thing.  He bears seed in us that will grow into a harvest one day.  A harvest full of rejoicing and joy.  We may not see an end to our pain or even receive the one thing that we're hoping for, but the Lord promises us JOY regardless.  If we sow the seed of our tears in the fertile ground of the Lord's kingdom, He will bring forth so much joy that our arms will spill over with the sheaves of our harvest.  Sheaves that will speak to the goodness of our God, to the abundance of His blessing and to the redemption that only He can bring.  From tears to joy.  From mourning to rejoicing.  From arms that are empty to arms that are full.  

That's what our God can do, and that's what He did for me.  

I'm a mess of emotion when I look at this precious face and I remember the ache of many Mother's Day Sundays, wondering if these empty arms of mine would be able to hold a baby of my own?  After a miscarriage before her and a due date that came and went on Mother's Day, I couldn't believe I was still sowing tears.  But the Lord was doing something I couldn't see or understand.  Each tear that fell from my heart was actually a seed.  Compassion, grief, empathy, perspective, trust...these were all seeds that were planting roots in me.  God knew what He was allowing and what was best for me, but He also knew He could use my experience to speak hope and life into another hurting mama down the road.  He wasted nothing that He took me through and better yet, He blessed me three times over.  First with Ava, then with Carter and now with Walker too.  Three precious lives and one who waits for us in Heaven.  My empty arms have been filled with sheaves and rejoicing! 

 Today was a very sweet day with my family.  We all sat together in Church, another reminder of the ways my heart used to hurt on a Sunday honoring mothers, to a Sunday keeping my busy kids quiet and my unborn son from kicking me too hard!  We ate lunch out together and then came home to enjoy the afternoon. Trav surprised me with flowers and a precious card and more rejoicing in my heart.  

 Nothing prepares you for the overwhelming joy of motherhood! 

Or a blonde-haired, hazel eyed boy that squeezes you so hard and even grunts a little while giving you a hug...

 ...my own little bundle of energy and love!  

 This little sweetheart stole my heart the minute God put her in my arms.  

 All sugar and just a little spice, she is such a thoughtful and kind hearted little girl who loves Jesus and her family.  Everyday with her is an adventure and a celebration of all things girl!  

And even little Walker is quickly making his way into our hearts and he's not even here yet!  With every kick and every flip and all the other signs of life that we cherish, we can't wait to have this sweet baby boy in our arms very soon.  No one is more excited than I am, I'm ready to love him on the outside and to be able to roll over again without pain!  Ha!  

 Our kids wanted a turn to play photographer and I am so happy we said yes!  

This is Ava's shot of us and I love it!  I especially love the artsy off-centeredness of it  :) 

 And this is Carter's!  We could tell he was aiming a little low so we tried to adjust quickly.  I think it might be one of my favorites!  It reminds me of how they see us, always bending down to their level and hopefully flashing them more smiles than stern looks :) 

 I had no grand expectations today, a nap sounded good and a break from cooking is always a treat!  But Trav spoiled me all day and reminded me of the incredible blessing God gave me in him, before I ever dreamed of being a Mama too.  My heart ached for a spouse too and there were tears shed in the wait, but oh my did He deliver in His perfect timing.  We aren't perfect!  My kids or Travis and I, but we are here to say that God is faithful and His ways are higher and better than our own.  

 Travis did ask me a few days ago if there was something I really wanted for Mother's Day.  I know he was thinking along the lines of jewelry or shopping, but I immediately came up with one thing I knew I wanted.  

 When you're 8 months pregnant and your husband is taking requests, food always factors into the equation, right??  For some odd reason a great meal or a new outfit wasn't my first choice, but an ice-cream cake from Coldstone Creamery was. 

I chalk it up to pregnancy but cake and ice-cream sounded oh so delicious and it was!!  

These beautiful roses grace my table tonight and like the thorns that had to pierce through the soil in order for them to grow and keep pests away, they bloom despite adversity and all sorts of weather.  Every year for the last 5 years, Mother's Day hits me like a ton of bricks when it arrives.  It's so much more than just a day to indulge or the quest for a perfect way to be celebrated.  My tears have produced a harvest of rejoicing and my arms hold so many sheaves I can hardly believe it!  

I had a great day and I'm thankful. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know and love and to all those who long to be a mother or who grieve the absence of their own mother.  

I'll point you right back to David's admission in Psalm 126...

"Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.  He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." 

Psalm 126:5-6