Pages

3.18.2011

Awkward....

Happy Friday friends!  I know, I know, another week of spotty blogging and no excuse greater than,  well...life!  I've had my hands tied this week and thus the lack of posting.  But my blog is being featured on the M2M blog today and I know some Pastor's wives will be stopping by to say hi, so fittingly I thought our day would appropriate to share.  It is supposed to be Trav's day off today, and it's been a great day, but one that's been full of "ministry" in one way or another.  I know this will strike a chord with some of you...

Trav and I are were blessed by some friends this morning, to have a little date.  So we went out for breakfast, bought some lamps I've wanted at Homegoods and then went to Starbucks.  Sounds like a perfectly good morning to me!  We both planned to do a little reading and I thought I'd update my blog (finally).  Anyway while Travis popped in a store near by, I was sitting, happily sipping my carmel macchiato, when I was thrust into one of those "situations."  Because I needed an outlet for my laptop, I was sitting a little closer to 2 men having a conversation than I normally would have been.  I noticed one of them had a Bible, so immediately, I decided I liked them :) We "bonded" over a smile when I pulled mine out too.  Ha ha!  Do you do that or is it just me??  It usually warms my heart to see other believers in the Word.  Anyway, I digress...

Quickly I found myself outright listening to every word between these two men.  At first I couldn't help it, we were that close, but then I really couldn't help it, it got "interesting."  Mostly because it was apparent that one of them went to our Church (just started going there) and the other one knew someone who is an incredible man of faith and whom Trav and I respect greatly, so I thought for sure I knew where this conversation was headed. My ears always perk up when I hear our Church mentioned in conversation, and usually it's a good thing.   Anyway, at that point, I entertained the thought of just casually mentioning that I go to Grace too, but then I realized that there was really no good way to do that without it being plainly obvious that I was evesdropping.  Which I didn't want to be doing, so I just opened my Bible and went about my own business.

 But then it happened. 

They brought up Grace again, our Senior Pastor and a recent thing that happened on Sunday morning when 277 people were baptized.  I couldn't help but hear it all because they got noticably louder and more animated.  One man was clearly critical of the entire thing and the other, while trying to answer his questions was totally incorrect and uninformed.  Not just about our Church, but about the Bible and doctrine.  It was painful to listen to.  I kept thinking Trav would be back any minute and he could step in or that there would be a chance for me to interject some truth or I don't know what.  But as they got more animated and Travis was clearly engrossed in the shoe store, I sat there paralyzed.  Partially because it was starting to get personal and I couldn't figure out a way to interject anything without it sounding defensive and partially because really, none of it was my business.  They didn't ask for my opinion :)  And yet, I was dying to give it!! 

About the minute that I couldn't stand it anymore, Travis did indeed show up, totally oblivious to the whole thing.  So naturally, I pulled out my phone and started texting him.  Across the table.  Classic, right???  I'm texting at warp speeds, trying to catch him up and just when he finally catches on, they start to get up and leave.  At the most critical point of the whole conversation!!  And I'm realizing that my blood is now boiling.  I'm totally irritated at their misinformation and crititcal spirits and very disappointed in the guy who's been going to our Church and in the course of 10 minutes, completely caved in his own beliefs and gave in to the opinion of the other.  Who by the way, was a total low talker and mumbler.  So honestly, while I could hear every word from one guy, I could only hear about every third from the other.  Further proof that I was struggling to find an interjection point.  But, as they stood up to leave, everything in me wanted to shout "Don't go!!" 

But I didn't say anything.  And I'm not sure how I feel about that.  It riled me up for at least an hour and after I filled Travis in on everything, he did say that if he were there from the beginning, he would have said something to help answer some questions they had.  What I wished I would have said was, "I couldn't help but overhear that you go to my Church and you had some questions about a few things we do there.  My husband is on staff and we would love to address some of your concerns if you'd like us to.?"  But I didn't say that.  For one thing, I was alone the whole time and also, I didn't feel like two men would probably appreciate (or receive as helpful) a woman butting into their conversation.  And frankly, I think it would have made it worse to add that he was on staff, after they clearly disagreed with some leadership decisions and I heard it.  In a word, the whole thing would have been very awkward.  Which isn't a good reason to avoid something, but today the word "inadaquate" just kept running through my mind.  And not in reference to them, but to me.  Today I probably just needed to keep my mouth shut and pray, because I did not have the purest of motives or the unbiased of opinions.  Which to the glory of God, is what I did.

Plus, as I kept telling myself, I was on a date!  Not in the mood for theological debates with strangers :) It was obvious they were both believers, just seriously misguided in their theology and interpretation of the Word.  Not an easy audience to debate.  Anyway....

As that was all wrapping up and I was relaying it to Travis, his phone rang and he got "that look" on his face that told me our plans for the day were about to change.  As I was trying to enjoy my final sips of coffee, he realized that he was supposed to be having lunch with a couple that he had connected with a few months ago.  Soooo, I listened as he told them, we would be happy to meet them for lunch in about 45 minutes after we picked our kids up.  Yep, this day just got more interesting :)

I didn't have time to care about whether I felt like doing that or not, we quickly got in the car and headed to get the kids. I could tell he felt really bad about forgetting this appointment and I didn't have to be talked into lunch out!  So as we were driving to the restaurant, I asked what the names were of the couple we were meeting.  "Not sure" he said.  He wrote that down in his office.  Then I asked, "do you know what they look like?"  "Nope."  Awesome.  We were on our way to meet a couple we'd never met, from another state, whose names we did not know and whose faces we'd never recognize...with our 2 small kids.  You can't help but laugh at that!  Which is what we did! 

Turns out they were a really sweet couple, also in Junior High ministry, from Florida.  They were here, meeting with lots of area youth pastors and getting a feel for how other people do ministry.  We had a great time chatting with them, but of course by the end of our impromptu lunch out, I was negotiating with Ava in a clenched teeth sort of way while she climbed all over the booth, while Carter was squirming in my arms and Travis was oblivious.  Engaged in an in-depth conversation about the value of summer camp. 

Yes, another day in the life of a Junior High Pastor's wife!  Ha ha :) Thankfully, we're home now and my kids are sleeping and I'm enjoying our new lamps.  Tonight I'm having dinner with a friend of mine from our Church, a fellow Pastor's wife, whose husband left for a mission's trip to India today.  Travis is headed downtown to do some ministry with the homeless, so our kids will get to play and the two of us "ministry widows" will get to enjoy each other's company.  Happy "day off" to us!!   Ha ha!!

Thankfully, most of our Fridays are very quiet and we do get lots of time off together, but today was just one of those days...I know I'm not the only one who can relate to that!!

All you Pastor's wives, can I get an amen??? 

Happy Friday everybody, I wish you silence and privacy at Starbucks this weekend :)

1 comment:

rachel said...

Hi Stephanie! I'm here from the M2M and my husband's in youth ministry too. Girl, I totally felt for you during that ministry story. I thought for sure the new couple you met for lunch was going to include one of the guys from the coffee shop. Ha! As for your Friday night, I guess the next best thing to being with your husband is meeting up with a fellow pastor's wife who understands! Nice to "meet" you!