**Updated to add- While this is posting late Friday night, it was actually written Thursday night and yes, our carpet is now in and we are oh so happy about it!***
I'm writing from my couch tonight, exhausted and ready for this roller-coaster of renovating to wind down. Tomorrow we have carpet people coming to replace all of our carpet and we are so very ready to get it in here. The end result is making us excited, but the process...the mess, the un-doing everything, the limbo living required...we're over it. We're grateful to be doing it, absolutely, but we're just tired. These last two weeks in particular have been intense. My mind is just as tired as my body, but my body might beg to differ. Travis and I have both been burning the candle at both ends and we are starting to grow weary of this grind. I think even the kids are ready to have their room back and free reign of their toys and the house. They've really been very good considering they've been dancing around wet paint, torn up bathrooms, packed up belongings, and a refrigerator that is much emptier than normal. Did I mention that we are desperate for a grocery run??
Their Mom has been divided lately. I've been juggling the normal day to day stuff, while obsessing over paint colors and grout lines. Because I am human and I can't do it all, I've dropped some balls here and there, and in general I've felt off of my game. I've gone to more than a few soccer games with paint in my hair and I've convinced Carter that trips to Home Depot are more fun than the park. Sad, but true. Thankfully he's buying it and I'm grateful.
While our tile was getting installed last week, I was driving south on 35, headed for my parents house. It's a route I've driven a hundred times and I know it like the back of my hand. We've practically got it down to the minute as far as estimating our arrival. But while I was on my way and headed just out of the city, I quickly realized I was not going to be putting my cruise on and settling in for a afternoon drive. Unfortunately I found myself in the middle of a rush hour/construction traffic jam and within seconds I was irritated. Like seriously bugged. It was inconvenient, painfully slow and there wasn't a single thing I could do about it. I hate construction. I could feel my pulse racing and my nerves heightening. I was on a tight schedule with tile people working in my house and I was not planning on factoring in construction delays. Oh, the injustice...
But here's the deal about construction. Although it's messy and never well-timed, it is actually necessary. Typically it's done because something is broken or wearing down, or sometimes construction is done to upgrade what you currently have or even prevent something from failing in the future. It's a good/bad scenario. The future outcome is almost always good, better even. But the immediate present is usually...well, messy. And also, it often stops you in your tracks.
That construction on 35 is a little bit like my life at home these last few weeks. Paint, tile and carpet have taken my normally managed life and thrown it up in the air. Currently there are 5 lamps on my kitchen table. Also, two TV's in my kitchen and million other things too. Getting new carpet is awesome...Essentially "moving out" to get that new carpet...not so awesome.
Uprooting our world for the last few weeks so that we can get some things done and upgraded has me thinking a little deeper than surface level. That construction that had me so irritated in my car and the renovation that currently has my bathrooms full of children's toys, is an awful lot like some other upgrades I've experienced. Upgrades of the soul...
Whenever the Lord does some much needed renovation in me, it requires more than just my thumbs up or my increased excitement level. He's after so much more than just a fresh coat of paint or some new accessories. What He wants to do in me, requires work. There's demolition involved, messy living and sometimes life just grinds to a giant halt until it gets fixed. I don't always like what's happening, sometimes I fight it kicking and screaming because I can't see the end goal. I can't envision what it is He wants to do in me and all I can see is a storage room full of junk, waiting to be sorted through. Sin is like that. It blinds us to reality and keeps our vision confined to a tunnel. We can only see what's right in front of us and without the Lord's intervention, we just might kill ourselves because our vision is nothing compared to His.
Renovating a home is a complicated and exhausting process and just when you think you can't take one more day of projects and more work, you get a little taste of joy and some unexpected fun. A glimpse of what's in store or just a break to see how far you've already come. Who knew??
After all, nothing says fun like climbing in an empty entertainment center with your sibling, a blankie and a cheese stick. Suddenly all that work to clear out the books and electronics created the perfect hiding spot for two little people hoping to surprise their Mommy. And surprise her they did! Maybe even delighted her a little bit too.
We are so ready for garbage cans and ripped up flooring to make their exit so that the new stuff can replace it and sing a better song around here. We're soooooo ready and yet we're very thankful too. Because even in a mess, there is progress and hope. That can full of trash will soon get hauled away, never to return again and in it's place will be something so much better and something we simply couldn't have predicted a year ago. Change is coming, it's happening in fact, and that is a great thing...even if there are 5 lamps on my kitchen table and 2 children in our entertainment center.