As I was making my grocery list and filling in my weekly planner this morning I thought of a few things that I really could use some more of on this Monday. Not sure if you could say the same, but for me this is what I need...
1. More sleep. This pregnancy has been so different than my first two. My doctor validated the pain that baby number three often brings to a Mama's body. First and second pregnancies often go pretty smoothly, but she said the third one is what knocks most women off their feet. Obviously that's not true of everybody but it's definitely been true for me. I am kind of in survival mode and just limping through right now but the one thing that is evading me the most is decent sleep. I have so much pain from my sciatica stuff that resting is the worst part of my day. Sitting and laying down are just brutal, as in nearly impossible without excruciating pain. And yes, it's all being monitored and I'm treating it as best as it can be treated, but until I have this baby it just is what it is. This week has not given me much by the way of sleep (although last night was better) but in general I could use more sleep! I feel like a walking zombie most days, which I know is at least useful for the summer and the sleepless nights the baby will bring. It's just a season...
2. Patience. I'm thinking this is directly tied to the lack of sleep and the excruciating pain but lately my kids have found countless ways to locate my last nerve and then stomp repeatedly all over it. I'm taking lots of deep breaths and walking away to regain my composure right now...but I'm a little short in the patience department when it comes to them. And I don't like that, that's not the kind of Mom I want to be, but boy do I need the Lord to give me something I just don't have much of right now! I feel like this winter of extremely cold temps (like record setting, hasn't been this cold here in dozens and dozens of years) is carving out a course of extreme perseverance for parents. It's hard to be cooped up and even harder to go anywhere. Also, my kids have an uncanny ability to come up with all kinds of shenanigans whenever I try to close my eyes, funny how that works! It will end but until then, I need more patience and I know the source of that isn't me, I'm fresh out!
3. Which leads me to the next obvious thing I need more of...time with Jesus!!! For a million reasons! I have been granting myself some serious grace when it comes to the state of my house and the way it looks simply because I have realized more than a clean kitchen floor, my family needs me to spend time with Jesus and address the stuff going on in my heart. I've been flipping through books, bouncing around in my Bible and just trying to ground myself in the Lord and HIS TRUTH to counteract all these feelings I have that want to take over and control me. I feel very stretched right now and I have some things that are weighing on me, but the antidote is crystal clear- Jesus. I need the hope of the Gospel, I need scripture, I need worship, and I need to sit at His feet often. When I do those things and stay intentional, that weight gets lifted and my perspective changes. On this Monday, that's where I'm finding my greatest need...I just need more and more of the Lord and less and less of me.
4. Coffee. I am missing my regular dose of coffee and the treat of it every morning. The nausea eliminated coffee for me during the first 4 months of this pregnancy but even now, when I drink a cup I just don't tolerate it very well. And I miss it. My favorite mugs just keep staring at me in the cupboard, like wondering what they did wrong?? I've tried to swap it for hot chocolate, tea or even decaf, but nothing does the trick like a great cup of coffee in the morning. Or the afternoon. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that I can work it back in my routine after the baby is born. I sit in coffee shops now and just pretend I'm enjoying my favorite cup...first world problems for sure, but I have to say that it's a missing treat in my world.
5. Color. I NEED COLOR like a dog needs water. These gray, cold days make me want to stare at a color wheel or a paint deck until my eyes cross. I have been pulling out the brightest clothes I own, cooking with as much color as possible and even flipping through old pictures from summer just because I need to know that the sun does shine and that trees have leaves and flowers even bloom here in Minnesota! This is the story of March, we are all holding our breath just waiting for some kind of sign that Spring is around the corner...a glimmer, a promise, something!! Although a snowfall is beautiful and fresh snow that is sparkly and white is a sight to behold, a world devoid of color is a special kind of torture when we know that God gave us so many incredible delights and such beauty in his creation...the trick is just waiting for His timing to reveal it all again! So for now I'm bringing it inside, in every way I can. Color is a powerful thing and I need more of it.
So that's what I'm thinking about today. What about you? What do you need more of today? It could be a million things and counting, right? Sometimes I simply forget that most of what I need (not want) is exactly what Jesus wants me to have and all I have to do when I'm lacking, is ask Him for it. He can give me patience. He can give me rest and perseverance. He can give me a burning desire to be with Him, to seek Him every day. He can give me an appetite for coffee again, however I'm not holding Him to that because I'm thinking that probably qualifies as a want and not a true need :) Although He does delight in giving good gifts to His children, soooo I'm ready to receive that should he choose to deliver! Ha ha! Hope you have a great day and if you need more of something, I pray you (and I) will remember to ask the giver of all good things!