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5.05.2009

Mommyhood, Part Two: The Reality of It All

Look at that little angel face :) Isn't she sweet???  I've spent the last 2 1/2 weeks, sharing lots of pictures like this one of our little Ava and telling you all about some of our favorite "firsts" we've experienced with her and you've been very gracious to endure it.  Thank you! To say these last few weeks have been incredible, would be a gross understatement.  They have been full of so many blessings and so many fun moments, we are very, very grateful for this little gift the Lord has given us.  She is precious to us and has brought out a depth of love we didn't know we were capable of.  Please hear me say that we LOVE her and she was so totally worth the wait. 

However, whoever said that being a Mom is the hardest job in the world was totally right!  So far, in my 2 1/2 weeks of wisdom (ha ha) I have experienced every emotion known to man.  Sometimes I can't imagine loving her more and sometimes I can't imagine how I'm going to get through the next hour :) She has been a great baby.  She sleeps well, nurses well and is the cutest thing we've ever seen.  But she can also be quite demanding :) and she seems to have a truly fussy period every day around dinner time.  It's not easy.  But as much work as she can be, my hardest struggle is not with her, but with myself and with my "former life" that I had grown very accustomed to :) I have given up my hopes for a daily shower, a clean house, laundry that's done, bills that are already paid, and a fridge that is full!  I know that for this little season in life, it's just going to be this way.  As we adjust we'll find our own groove and learn to do life differently, but in the mean time, I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not who I was 3 weeks ago and life cannot be what it was 3 weeks ago.  Nor do I want it to be the same!  The minute my doctor put Ava in my arms, everything changed.  Yes, there are incredible highs that come with being a new Mom but as many of  you know, there are also some lows as you try to navigate these very uncertain waters.  However, I have found much grace and hope in the following verse as I walk through these new and sometimes difficult days as a Mom.  

Isaiah 40:11
"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart.  He gently leads those that have young."

I am so grateful for a Savior who tends to me, who carries me close to his heart and who gently leads me through this new season.  With Him there is no guilt, no condemnation, no reminders of my shortcomings.  Instead there is an abundance of grace and love, an understanding of the challenges that come with "having young" and a tender hand to lead the way.  I love being Ava's mommy, no matter how good I may or may not be at it :) And just so you don't think I'm looking for compliments, I do happen to think I'm very good at it!!  I'm all she's got for a mother and I don't intend to let her down.  But if I'm going to be honest, then I think I should let you know that amidst all the sweetness and the photo worthy moments, I'm just like every one else.  I'm on the other side of the camera, with greasy hair, spit-up stained clothing and huge circles under my eyes, dying for a little more sleep :)  And just when I think I can't handle one more minute, this little darling looks up at me with an expression that says, "Are you my Mommy?"  And my heart begins to melt all over again.  Ahhh, mommyhood :) 


19 comments:

"Hello... It's Me Again..." said...

It really does get easier as the days and weeks go by. You really will get to get some rest and even paint your nails (eventually). I love reading your blog and about little sweetie pie. I really don't remember how I ran across your blog but I'm so glad I did. I smile when I read your posts.

You are a great mommy! Ava will bring delight to your life every single day forever and ever.

Jordan said...

Love her pretty eyes & her outfit in the last picture! :-)

MELISSA said...

wow.. she's beautiful.

and thank you for your transparency. as someone that ha never experienced mommyhood, but wants to very badly, it's nice to hear both sides.

Anissa said...

She is just precious! Loved your post! I have 3 two boys and a girl. My baby is 3 now. As she grows it will all be easier. TFS

amy said...

oh steph, what a sweet and TRUE post! it will get better... and then gets worse when #2 arrives and i am TERRIFIED of what will happen when #3 comes for us in a few weeks!!! i don't think i've had more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep in 4 years!!!! i'm praying for God to sustain you! the fussy time at dinner will pass in a few weeks! :) you're an amazing mommy!

Stacy said...

it took a good month to even begin to find a schedule and sanity with our first child...lol......just gotta find ur NEW normal.....

pollicino said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Joyce said...

Your baby is beautiful. Daughters are special...mine are now 18 and 20 and all the love you pour into them as little ones comes back to you as they grow up.

When you look back on these days you will remember the sweetness and not so much the spit up.

Anonymous said...

She changes so quickly! Those big eyes just melt your heart. The first 3 years aren't just emotionally intense, they challenge you physically too. Then about 14 you long for the physical part to dominate the relationship because the early teen is the most emotionally intense being. Parenthood is THE most intense job on earth. The most responsibility, the most fallout when you slip up, AND the biggest rewards when they become better than you ever were. Enjoy the ride! Love you, Peggy

Toni :O) said...

I LOVE her little feet in that bottom photo...too sweet for words. It does get easier once they sleep through the night...however, enjoy this time because as hard as it is right now, I have to say, it's even harder now. I have a ten year old son and a daughter almost six and I'll tell ya....4th grade STINKS to high heaven and I can't wait for summer break! I think it will get easier once their out of COLLEGE! Ugh! Don't mean to be a downer...but I'm just talking reality here. Hug that precious daughter of yours daily...it's the best thing we can do for them as it makes everyone smile.

Shannon and Casey said...

Congrats! She is beautiful. It does get better. Im sure everyone tells you that, but you will get a routine and you will have a "normal"life again. I take Morgan everywhere with me now and she loves it. :) Oh and I put her in her bouncy seat to take showers. That makes all the difference in how I feel!

LyndsAU said...

thank you so much for your openness and honesty! I needed that! I like to hear the reality of things. And this post made me realize that this fall my life will never be the same! and it will eb stressful at times. But that it will all be worth it!

~Bekah said...

Oh she is so precious! I can't wait to hold precious Shelby in my arms and experience this type of joy but at the same time, i'm having a hard time accepting that she is going to come out and i'll have to share her. haha

lindsay said...

First of all, your daughter is a doll and your family is precious! I started following your blog during your pregnancy and have enjoyed reading all about your sweet new girl! As many people have already said in their comments, it does get better! I am a lot like, you, I enjoy organization, am pretty scheduled and like things a certain way! I had to let some stuff go for awhile when I had my first son, but after about the 6 week mark I felt like I was back into a groove of getting things done, getting enough sleep and getting out of the house without 2 hours of preparation! I now have a 13 month old and a 5 week old, and adjusting to #2 is sooo much easier! Thank you for sharing your life with us and have a wonderful day!

Katie Spinks said...

Ava is lucky to have you as a mommy and you are sooo lucky to have her. Im sure it will get better after all you've only been in this new "normal" for 3 weeks thats not very long when you think she's going to be living with you for the next 20 years :) will be praying for you!!

AmandaHoyt said...

Awesome post, as always :)
You are a great mommy and yes, those first weeks are definitely hard. We had it pretty rough for about the first 5 weeks and yes, that time around dinner is the worst! Keep up the great work and give that cutie a hug for me :)
Hugs and prayers,
Amanda

all up in each others bizness said...

hang in there friend!

have you tried putting her in the bathroom in her bouncy chair while the shower runs so you can cook/eat dinner?

that worked with Abby!!!

Aly

Leanne said...

Hi!

My name's Leanne, and I'm from just about the other side of the map from you!! I've been a lurker all these months, almost since the beginning of your pregnancy with Ava, and I wanted to finally comment and tell you how much I enjoy your posts!

I love to "tune in" every day and read the latest goings on with your life. Though I have 7 children on this eartn (yes, they are all natural and allll mine and my husbands!), I remember keenly and fondly the days when my son was a newborn.

I'd love for you to stop by my blog sometime and leave me a comment, and maybe we can be virtual friends! I'm available in case you want any advice or tips or whatever....I figure if I don't get it after this many kids, then I don't think I'll get it at all!!! HA!

So I hope to see you around my blog soon!

And by the way, Ava is just such a perfect little baby.....I'm so glad you realize how truly blessed you are!

Love
Leanne in Longview
http://mysupplications.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Today is the 9th, you haven't blogged since the 5th!! How can that be? Ha Peggy