Party(s) for Carty!

We couldn't let this big milestone pass without celebrating Carter's big day!

Yesterday, on his actual birthday, we woke him up and made some birthday pancakes with bananas.

Awhile ago I made Ava some pancakes with rainbow sprinkles, which of course she loves!  Now whenever I ask her what she wants for breakfast or what I should make for Carter, the answer is sprinkle pancakes :)

It was a rough day in general, Carter was so tired and crabby from the day before, but we managed to soldier through hold it together for a family birthday dinner and some gifts. 

I love this age when we can keep things very simple and they are still thrilled.  A few presents, a balloon and we're good :)

And a party hat of course!

Ava thought she would help Carter put his hat on...

Which you can see didn't go well :)

This is pretty reflective of Carter's day, poor guy.  I think we partied a little too hard the few days before!

Dinner seemed to perk him up.  Doesn't he look one??? 

What fun to have 2 little people sitting at our table.

We sang and did the cake thing, although I didn't expect Carter to love it.

And while he liked the idea of cake...

I was right.  He didn't really want anything to do with eating it.

You would have thought we forced him to eat broccoli or something!

He did manage to wipe frosting all over his face, but that was really the extent of it.

News of taking a bath drew the biggest smile of the day :)

After we got him cleaned up, we thought he might want to open some of his presents.

Which of course meant it was time for Ava to open Carter's presents.

His favorite toy was this little workbench we got him.  I thought he might like it and he sure does. 

Ava loved them all :)

Texie got Carter his first little backpack, which is totally adorable!

My parents got him this Lightening McQueen car, which is a hit with everybody.

I think he's loving the introduction of some toys that aren't pink :)

On Sunday after Church, we had a party with my parents and my cousins.   I have the best cousins in the world.  Seriously, I'm so thankful for them in my life, so grateful that they live where we do and that we all go the same Church together.  They've loved me my whole life and when we moved here, they took Travis in and loved and supported him too.  Of course, now that we have babies they are the much needed family that we cherish with all of our parents out of state.  My cousin Amy graciously hosted all of us after Church so that we could throw carter a little party. 

Turns out after Church is probably a dicey time to expect a one year old to be really happy!

Some fun, little things to brighten the spread.

Yummmmmy.

Not only was it Carter's birthday, but it was also my Dad's.

So thus the need for two cakes :)

This girl was excited to party!

And so was this guy.  We think.  He was pretty serious* behind that paci. 

*Read, tired.

The birthday boys!

Ava decided she was done waiting for someone to give her some chips, so she pulled up a chair and just helped herself  :)

Just trying to hang with the big girls, I guess?

Here's me trying to hold Carter's arms down so he'd leave his party hat on!

The free Byerly's cake for the birthday boy! 

Not really sure what "blow out your candle" actually means...

While we were busy capturing the first bite with Carter, this little nut pulled her chair to other side of the island and began plucking those raspberries off that cake at warp speed.   

Not totally thrilled at the cake...

...but sort of into the ice-cream.

It didn't take too long for everything to be a little

 too overwhelming. 

Even opening presents was almost enough to throw us over the cliff :)

Happy Birthday to the first "boy" I ever sang to! 

Love you Dad, so thankful you came to celebrate Carter's birthday so that we could celebrate your's too!

It was a fun two days of celebrating our sweet Carter.  I'm sure he had no idea what was going on, but that didn't deter us from making some special memories anyway.
We love you buddy!

You are sunshine in our lives and we are so thankful for YOU!

Remembering 10-10-10

This is what I looked like, one year ago at the dawn of this day.  I woke up in labor and before long, I knew Carter was ready to make his entrance into this world.  Thankfully my sister was visiting us that weekend and she took over with Ava while Travis and I got ready to go to the hospital.  In some ways, that morning feels like an eternity ago, look at Ava!  What a tiny little peanut she was :) But in other ways, I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

At this point in the day, I was all smiles and things were going well.  It wasn't much longer after this picture was taken that it all went downhill.  Carter was not too thrilled about leaving his home of 9 months and he apparently did all he could to wedge himself in there :) I had back labor with him that was so awful and resulted in two different epidurals, and in the process he flipped over so that he was sunny side up and coming down the birth canal at an angle.  After pushing for 3 hours and trying several things to get him "un-stuck", his heart rate began dropping and I was running out of steam. 

I will never forget my OB telling me that it was time for plan B, a c-section that was unavoidable.  I was so exhausted but definitely not ready to give up.  It became apparent that it wasn't about me any more but about Carter and his safety.  I knew it was the right thing, but I can't explain the guilt that washed over me at that moment.  I immediately shed some tears and told Travis I felt like such a failure.  Like I didn't do a good enough job to get him out.  Thankfully the nurses and my OB overheard me and gently reassured me that I did everything I could and sometimes this just happens.  We were both scared and I just kept thinking this wasn't what I planned for Carter.  Typical, right?  The planner thrown by the unplanned :)

What I came to realize months later, was that this was exactly the Lord had planned for Carter.  The way his birth unfolded was the way He intended his story to begin.  It wasn't what I would have chosen, but it taught me many things I probably wouldn't have learned otherwise.  After a pretty horrible experience in the operating room, the Lord chose that moment to bring my sweet son into this world.  I hardly remember much about it, but I do remember hearing him cry and Travis telling me he was perfect.  I think they showed him to me, but it wasn't long before I was having a full on panic attack from the pain and begging them to put me under.  I had a great doctor and he did a wonderful job, it was just simply a perfect storm that day and my body was spent.

Two hours after he was born, I woke up in recovery, very confused and out of it.  After I started to feel better, they wheeled me up to my room so I could officially meet my baby.  I've never felt so tired and sore in my life, but holding my precious Carter was more than worth it.  I remember taking this picture and then asking Travis to take him.  It broke my heart, but I hurt from head to toe and I just didn't have the strength to hold him. 

Travis was my rock that day, squeezing my hand and talking me through everything.  I can remember being anxious about the c-section beginning and wondering where he was and why he wasn't in the room yet.  I started to cry and then they brought him in and he leaned down to pray over me while they began.  I learned later that he was just as anxious as I was, but he never let me know. 

When they brought me to my room late at night, he was standing there to greet me in his scrubs, holding our little guy in his arms.  Later I realized what a sweet time that was for the two of them.  Again a detail I wouldn't have chosen, but something the Lord ordained for Carter and his Daddy.

We couldn't get over how cute our new son was, all bundled up and brand new.  We just kept saying, "He's here, we have a son!"  His full head of dark hair was the talk of all the nurses and the doctors.  It's funny to think that all that black hair is now white hair! 

As the night unfolded, I regretably missed seeing this big "first meeting" occur, but my sister captured it perfectly and I do love that my parents got to witness the fun.  I look at this picture and I realize now, just what a baby Ava was herself.  No wonder people looked at me with sympathy those first few months! 

The first grandson on my side of the family...What a special treasure to have my Dad there, holding my baby when I couldn't yet.  I'm sure he relived the birth of all three of us girls, with the birth of Ava and Carter. 

The same goes for my Mom!  Thankfully, she got to enjoy a new baby without the labor this time around :) It took me awhile to not be sad that I missed those first few hours with Carter and that it wasn't my voice that he heard or my face that he looked at.  Most of that was the result of raging hormones and not enough sleep, but it's also special to me that my parents were there and that they got that time to take care of both of my babies. 

Jennie was a life saver that day!  She was planning to drive back to Iowa that afternoon, but when I told her I was in labor that morning, both of our days changed.  I don't know what I would have done without her.  It was so convenient to leave Ava with her and I was so distracted by the pain that I didn't think twice about Ava after we got in the car!  Plus I love that she was there to meet both of my kids when they were only minutes old.  I knew Stacie was coming in just a couple of weeks and after going through a c-section, I was so thrilled to have some more hands to help me.  I can't wait to return the favor someday and be the only getting my picture taken with my nieces or nephews :) 

Our little family grew that day, from 3 to 4.  Tiny Ava became a big sister and precious Carter gained the title of little brother.  Realizing that we had KIDS (plural) was such a trip!  Two blessings, two gifts from the Lord.  Looking at them then and thinking about all the fun they've shared a year later...Wow. 

 I'm so glad God gave them each other to grow up with.

On that Sunday evening, an infusion of blue entered our world and we've never been the same since.  Having a son to love and raise is incredible.  I LOVE being a Mommy to a little boy AND a little girl.  That bundle of blue melted my heart for a second time.  I cherish the days we spent together in the hospital that week.  I remember watching the story of the recued miners unfolding, all the while cuddling with Carter and enjoying being taken care of all day. 

On this day, life couldn't have gotten any better!

We felt so blessed and so complete. 

One year later, I'd say the same thing.  Life is good.  Our sweet Carter is growing like a weed and we are just holding on trying to take it all in!  Ava's world has never been the same since Carter entered it, but I don't think she'd trade the alone time for life without her brother.  They are becoming such buddies and it still thrills our souls to see them light up in the presence of the other. 

It's been an incredible year. 

It hasn't always been easy and I've never been so tired! 

 But as our arms are full, so are our hearts.

Happy Birthday Carter!  This day changed my life forever because you God gave us YOU on this special day.  We love you so much.  

You are as lovable and sweet and handsome as the first day we laid eyes on you.  We can't imagine our family without you, buddy.  What fun we have ahead, celebrating many birthdays to come... 



How He Loves Us

While I was preparing to share a word from the Lord at my friend Nicole's shower last week, He brought me to a precious verse that speaks so clearly about the kind of parental love He gives us and He has for us.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."  Zephaniah 3:17

It's a verse I've heard many times, it's even been set to music and is one I can remember word for word because of that.  In context, it's a verse that speaks beautifully about the coming hope we have one day, when the Lord will gather His people after He removes his hand of judgement and He himself will live among His people again.  But after reading it and re-reading it and praying through it, He helped me draw out some further truth that I hope will bless you like it did me. I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who needs to be reminded today of how great the Father's love for us is...

Because I was preparing for a baby shower and because I've been thinking back to a year ago, when I was just days away from welcoming our little Carter into the world, the Lord reminded me of the precious instincts He gives us when we become parents. 

When that sweet baby enters this world and pierces your heart for the first time with cries of fear and agitation, no one has to teach you to fall in love with them.

"...He will take great delight in you..."

As we catch our first glimpse and reality hits us squarely in the depths of our hearts, the tears flow, the heart swells and the world stops.  In the hours and days that follow, nothing else matters to you but that little life cuddled up in your arms.  To delight in them is as natural as breathing.  Every little finger and toe, a work of art.  Every noise or sound, music to your ears.  This tiny person is yours, given to you by the Almighty God, entrusted in your care for a lifetime and as you wrap your mind around the miracle of it all, He gives us JOY like we've never known.  He does it because it's an emotion we need to love our children, it's a way that we provide comfort and stability for them, and it blesses us too.

  But more than that, I think He gives us the ability to delight in our children, so that we get a taste of how He delights in us.  Because He does delight in us (Psalm 147:11, Psalm 149:4)  And He wants us to know and believe that He does.  Plenty of people will be disappointed in us, will get let down by us or just won't like us.  But Jesus isn't one of them.  He takes great delight in His children...

"...He will quiet you with His love..."

When I became a Mom for the first and second time, one of the sweetest things was knowing that no one else could quiet my baby like I could.  As they filled the air with those newborn squawks and squeals, my head immediately turned to to where they were and without a moment's hesitation, my feet took me to them.  A gentle cradle, a warm embrace and whisper of "Shhh, shhh, shhh...I'm here, it's ok, Mommy's here" would quiet them right down.  No one has to teach us to bend low to our babies and pull them close.  Out of the resources of our love, we know to scoop them up and speak over them bringing them comfort and establishing that trust between us.  How do we know to do that? 

As we act out an instinct that is God given, He provides for us and for our children but He also reveals one more aspect of who He is.  He shows us that just as we struggle and cry and fret, He wants to quiet us with His love too.  Isaiah 40:11 tells us that He is like a shepherd, carrying his lambs close to His heart.  Psalm 116:1-2 reminds us that He hears OUR voice.  When we cry out to Him, He turns His ear to US and listens.  And when He thought of us and made Adam in the garden, He came down to us, stooping over the dirt and gathering it to form man, before He bent over and blew life into us (Genesis 2:7).  We quiet our babes with our love, because that's how He quiets us too.  He demonstrates His love to us in so many ways...

"...He will rejoice over you with singing."

One of the best surprises of parenthood, is the ability you never knew you had to look at your children and feel such pride and joy that you want to burst into song!  I can only equate this to feeling like a Disney character, namely like Giselle from Enchanted.  As a pot that is boiling often runs over, so does the emotion of a parent.  With joy, we sing silly songs with our kids.  With love, we sing lullabys over our kids.  With pride, we shout songs of victory when they obey.  Being a Mom or a Dad requires a willingness to sing.  Not because it is or isn't your best strength but because it makes your kids smile or unwind.  For their benefit and yours, you sing over them. 

And so it is with the Lord.  To think that the Creator the universe, the Infinite, Sovereign God who holds the planets in place and hangs every star is also aware of YOU, is incredible.  But to think He also sings a love song over you, because of you, is tender.  As we obey Him and honor Him, He rejoices over us.  As we become the people He created us to be, He sings with pride over us.  The One who gives us a song to sing, has been singing over His cihldren for generations. 

As I pondered these three basic instincts of a parent, I caught a greater glimpse of my Father.  He instituted the family, He designed the order we should follow as He builds them, and He creates the precious babies whom we are charged with raising and nuturing and protecting.  But in His great mercy and wisdom, He didn't do it without giving us instructions to follow and an example to experience. 

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save..."

He is with us.  As I encouraged my friend Nicole, He is with us in the labor and delivery room.

  He is with us with when that little baby won't stop crying and you've tried everything.

He is with us when your family leaves, your husband goes back to work and these little people are depending on YOU.

He is with us.

(Isaiah 41:10, 13-14; Isaiah 43:1-5, Joshua 1:9)

A year ago, I was overwhelmed. 

I knew in my heart the Lord was with me, but I was desperate for Him to show me that He was mighty to save.  I knew He was my Faithful Savior and I trusted Him for my eternal salvation, but I needed to know that I could call on Him for daily salvation too.  Not because I doubted a salvation that reconciled me back to God through Christ Jesus, but because of my sin that so easily entangles me, I knew I had to get out of bed every day and function.  I knew that I couldn't do this last year alone.  I knew that Travis and I couldn't survive in our own strength, either.  But as we've watched the seasons come and go, and as those little itty bitty people have grown right before our very eyes, I'm assured that the Lord MY God is with ME, and yes, He is MIGHTY to save.  In every way.

"O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you.  Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." Isaiah 33:2

Being a Parent makes me love and appreciate and marvel at the love of my Father and they way He displays it.  Tenderly, personally, faithfully...He loves us.  He loves me.  He gives us instincts and His Word to help us, to provide for us, to make our lives better.  But that isn't His ultimate goal.  His ultimate goal is for us to KNOW Him.  To have a relationship with Him.  To reflect Him.  To trust Him. 

I love that He's impressed that on my heart this week. 

Remembering those newborn days and looking forward to the days ahead...

I hope you feel loved today. 

If you don't, you can.  He offers a love that compares to none other. 

It's found through salvation in Jesus alone and it's your's for the taking.  Don't waste another day wondering if you are loved.  You are.  My prayer is that you will be encouraged in His love today or be willing to receive it, if you haven't already.

In the words of the David Crowder Band,

"Oh, how He loves us, Oh...

Oh...

How He loves us, Oh, How he loves..."