First Day, Check!

Well folks, we did it.  The sun rose again this morning, Ava came into our room at 6 am crying over a bad dream, the first day of preschool beckoned and we still managed to have a pretty stellar day! 

I went to bed with a headache last night, after shedding some rounds of tears over this whole "releasing your child" thing that totally crept up out of nowhere and had my heart in knots this weekend. But by the grace of God, even though I woke up to my girls' tears, I took that opportunity to get an extended time of snuggling and giggling early this morning which was the medicine both of us needed! 

Before I knew it, we had our new, first day outfit on, complete with a feathered headband and glittery shoes, and this little pre-K girl was ready to pose!  

Along with her quirky new backpack!  I can't believe she chose this one, but she did and I love it! 

I asked Ava if she was a little nervous while I stooped to tie her shoes.  She said, "Yeah, I'm just a little bit nervous, but I'm ess-cited about my first day too!"  Thank you Lord... Her excitement was exactly what I needed to feel totally calm and "ess-cited" for her  :) 

 The official 2013 #obligatorysignpose is in the books!  

While I was busy getting Ava to pose and making sure she had everything we needed, Carter ran to get his golf clubs and then told me, "I want to take my picture by the door too!  My golf clubs want to say cheese!" Hilarious!  That should have tipped me off that he may have had some internal struggling going on, but I was too busy getting a kick out of him and agreeing to take his picture.  That is a request I will never turn down!  

 Daddy met us at school for a hug and so he could see her classroom and take in the first day scene.  

 At this point I was feeling pretty proud of myself for not falling apart or shedding a tear.  

I love this pic so much!  My heart is full tonight, although I look at her here and wonder how it is that I blinked, looking away for just a second, and the baby girl I took home from the hospital is suddenly big enough for mornings away from her Mama??  Time... It is a funny thing.  

 What I'm about to explain to you now, unfolded in the series of following photos and took us totally by surprise.  I've been telling Carter all along that he and Mommy were going to have so much fun together and do lots of fun things while Ava was in school, but apparently as reality began to sink in for him, suddenly he was very aware that his big sister was about to stay at school and we were not staying with her.  

 He started begging me, "Please can I stay wif Ava?  I want to go to preschool too!  I wanna be wif Ava!  But I'm big Mom and I love Ava!"  It was derailing quickly and I was trying to help him through it, all the while thinking "Are you seriously falling apart over this buddy??"  I'm the one who should be choking back sobs here, not you!!

 This is just seconds before he burst into tears and sobbed on Trav's shoulder.  I was doing very well with letting Ava go, but my heart was breaking again for poor Carter.  

In the chaos of tears and disappointment, I barely got a good-bye from Ava.  She simply walked into her room after a kiss and that was it!  She was off and I stood there for a second, fighting the urge to run in after her, but then realized that I needed to be off too.  She was ok and we were doing this!  

Besides, I had my hands full with this little guy, taking him to the bathroom to console him and try to defend my reputation as "ultra fun Mom!"  He was a good distraction.

It took a few minutes and the promise of a donut to get him to believe this whole day wasn't a complete loss!  As my Mom said, "Poor guy, his little life got wrecked today!"  

We pulled out of the parking lot and my car automatically drove us to the nearest park.  I knew his first day blues could be easily cured by the sight of a slide and some sand.  And I was right.  We had the whole park to ourselves for an hour and then we made a trip to Costco together.  He had too much fun to miss Ava, which was exactly what I was hoping for.  I know we are going to really love these mornings together! 

Before I knew it, it was time to head back and pick up Ava!  I was dying to see her in her class and instead got to watch the back of her head  :)  

She had a great first day and came home starving and exhausted!  She told me she wanted to go back to "Sunshine Preschool" tomorrow, which made my heart happy for her. 

All afternoon and evening, Carter was especially happy to have his best friend home again.  It's a new adventure for all of us, but adventures are good for the soul, right?  We will all adjust to our new normal and I'm hoping some mornings apart will make for some peaceful afternoons together.  I will also add that upon dropping Ava off, my baby fever has now reached an all time high!  It was WAY too quiet in my minivan and I just know Carter would love to make room for a new sibling in there!  Especially when it dawns on him that Ava will be in school every day next year... For now we all just need to take this one day at a time, right??

Thanks for you prayers!  We had a great first day and I'm off to bed to prep for another school day tomorrow!  I think I'm just as exhausted as Ava and I'm not even the one in school :) 

And just think, I only have 16 or so more years to do this!  

The Dress Rehearsal

We woke up with a fever of great expectations this morning.  Ava is starting preschool tomorrow, on Tuesday morning, and this morning was her Open House and her first chance to meet her teacher and see her classroom.  We've been talking and talking about this forever, so I woke up today very ready to just get the ball rolling!  I think she was feeling the same way.  She wasn't quite on board with a photo shoot this morning but I managed to squeeze a couple of poses out of her...sort of. 

 This might be my favorite attempt at fake enthusiasm.  For the record, she was excited, just not very willing to give me any genuine emotion for a photo, ha!  I have about 10 of these that are quite funny if you like forced smiles and fake joy!  

Maybe the most exciting part of preschool for Ava right now is simply what she's going to wear to everyday.  It's quite a process to think it all through and make sure it's just right.  And believe you me, she is as opinionated as she is cute.  The girl is just like her mother and I'm getting paid back tenfold for my own assertiveness when it came to my clothing choices.  She is very strong willed about what she likes and what she WILL NOT wear.  I've already told Travis I am most stressed about our mornings and her wavering thoughts about what she deems "perf-tect" for the day!  We're going to have to do some choosing the night before and stick to it.  It's not that I care so much about what she chooses, except that she notoriously chooses dresses for the opposite season or things that are too small but dear to her little heart :) God has a great sense of humor when he pairs mothers and daughters, doesn't he??  She is so much like her Mama it's painfully humbling when I observe myself in her sometimes!  Parenting is a roller coster of emotion and patience...

We got to her classroom a little early this morning and I watched my strong willed and tender girl look around with curious eyes, excited and a little tentative too.  I know she will grow to love this place and the new friends she will make.  She is typically easy going in new settings and sweet natured, but I watched her fight through her emotions, ready to assert her new independence and yet looking to me for reassurance and confidence.  It's so interesting to observe your own child in different environments and to see the ways that God has wired them.  She thrives in one on one interaction and without it, can get lost in big groups easily.  Her heart is sensitive and yet she's got a streak of her Daddy's love of adventure and laughter too!  I'm excited for the ways that Preschool will stretch her and grow her, and I'm praying it will also bolster her self-confidence and help her be brave.  

 She has two darling teachers and I know they will be faces she grows to trust and enjoy and love over the course of the year.  More than her own mastery of academic skills and learning, I am really praying that she continues to love Jesus more and more and that she is a blessing to those around her.  I'm praying for her to make some new friends, to be a delight to her teachers and to have fun!  We prayed together on the way to school this morning and I just about had to pull over after I listened to her sweet little soul asking Jesus to be with her today.  As much as I pray for my daughter and ask the Lord to work on her behalf, I know that part of my job as her parent is to help her gradually shift her dependence from me to Him.  Preschool feels like a big first step in that journey and the right one for our Ava.  

 After we listened to all the instruction and news about the policies and procedures for the year and she had some time to process this new adventure, we got outside and I saw her joy start to bubble out of her.  She asked lots of sweet questions and told me she loved "Preschool Sunshine" which is what she calls it!  This will be a good thing for all of us.  A little bittersweet in the journey that is life, but right and appropriate.  

 After all, as big as she seems these days, she's really such a little girl still in love with shoes that sparkle and anything covered in pink! 

As her Mom and Dad knew she would, she got right up on that horse this morning, something that would have scared her a few years ago and stretched her legs a bit.  Actually this picture is from our Family Fun Fest at Church yesterday, but the analogy seemed fitting.  

 Pink patent leather shoes and all, she rode that little pony, round and round it's pen like the 4 year old that she is, telling me "See Mom, I can do it!  I told ya!"  Yes, Ava, you sure can...

 I was reminded watching Travis still gingerly holding on to Carter, as he needed to do, that she's grown so much in the last year.  Her brother may be close in stature, but she's got a little more of life under her belt and it's a joy to watch her blossom and grow.  

 We have big mountains to climb this year and I know she will amaze us and surprise us.  I also know that parenting her through it will often bring us to our knees, the only place we'll find true wisdom and direction to help her.   

I hope through it all she never loses her child-like joy and love for life!  I pray her innocence will be protected to the best of our ability and that the Lord would impress His truth on her heart at an early age, so that she will trust Him for life and surrender all of who she is to her Savior.  Because if you will, Ava, it will be the wildest ride of your life and worth all the twists and turns along the way...

Tomorrow is the big day and we are ready for it.  I am determined not to cry for my girl (which will probably result in some tears shed tonight after she goes to bed!).  I want her to know this is a good thing in her little life, not something her Mom cries about.  I got a text this morning from my Dad, asking how the morning was going.  I filled him on Ava but he reminded me that he was actually wondering more about Ava's Mommy :)  I guess no matter how old we are, we are still somebody's little girl!  My heart has a little tug in it and there is a small lump in my throat, but mostly I am thankful for God's provision and His goodness in all things, even preschool!  

We are believing God for big things over here and I know He will deliver! 

Happy Monday, friends! May you have a beautiful start to your week!  

An Ode to the Grandparents

Today is Grandparent's Day.  I truly don't ever remember this being an official "day" when I was growing up (although I did grow up celebrating a declared "Grandparent's Day" at our school in May every year) maybe it was a "national thing", but I digress... apparently I am out of the loop and I owe Facebook to my sudden awareness of this day and the hoards of Grandparents that deserve some acknowledging in our life!  

I am very thankful for the privilege of living in the same hometown as most of my Grandparents.  My Dad's Mom and my Mom's Mom (and her husband) lived only minutes from us, during all of my growing up years.  We were dearly loved and at any given time, one set of Grandparents or the other made time for us in their daily life.  As I got older, I sometimes wished that we didn't always have to go to Grandma's house or make trips to the Nursing Home.  In the eyes of a self-centered kid, hanging with the relatives wasn't always on the top of my to-do list.  However, with some years behind me and a truckload of memories I cherish, I am now so thankful we GOT to go to Grandma's house and even that the heartbreaking pain of losing a Grandma to the grips of dementia over the course of a decade, is part of the story God wove for us.  It wasn't easy then and it's still hard to understand now, but it taught me some incredible things about love and family that helped shape who I am today.  There is an empathy and a healthy dose of perspective when Grandparents, especially aging Grandparents, are in your life.  I would give a lot to hug my Grandmas and Grandpas today.  I have one set still living and I know I won't have them around for years and years.  I know my Grandparents who are with the Lord would be so tickled to see my little family, and to hold their great-grands.  Someday I do have the very real hope and assurance that I'll get to see them again and catch up on all the hugging I've missed.  I also pray that I'll get to introduce my children to them and even get an introduction myself to my own Grandpa whom I never got to meet.  Heaven holds such promise of unending joy, doesn't it? 

Times have changed since I was little, and the world has only gotten bigger and more mobile.  Who would have guessed that this Iowa girl, would marry a Texas boy I met in Florida??  From day one of our marriage, we've never had the privilege of living in the same state as any of our parents, least of all the same city.  When we moved to Minnesota we did get considerably closer to my parents (in Iowa) and to Trav's at well (in Texas), but I often wonder what it would be like or if we'll ever know the kind of physical closeness I grew up with?  I grieve for my kids to not know what it's like to spend the afternoon at Grandma's or to have Grandpa come to all of their school events.  I often think how I'd give just about anything to be able to call our parents for a date-night babysitter or invite our parents over for dinner.  And yet, even with the obvious limitations of distance in our life, all of our parents have made and continue to make great strides to be in our lives in a number of ways.  

And for that I am so, so grateful.  

Trav's Mom is a woman who will travel to see us as often as possible!  She has cemented herself into our hearts as our "Texie" (she's a proud Texan) and Ava and Carter adore her visits.  We are blessed every time she packs a suitcase to be here, and every time her husband "Craigy" lets her come be with us  :)  We have made many memories with Texie and I know we'll make many more.  Thanks to iphones, and facebook, and things like blogs, she is as connected as possible and my kids never wonder if Texie loves them!  We are grateful for the miles she has logged to make us a priority in her life.  Her kids are scattered all over the country so she truly spends so much time in airports, time that is boring and long, but time well spent so she can be a part of our lives. My friends here can't believe how often she comes to visit, considering she lives in Texas!  

We are thankful that she makes such an effort to love her grandkids well!  

 Trav's Aunt and Uncle are grandparents to our children in every sense of the word, proudly and sweetly loving our kids and showering them with affection.  Nana and Papa have graced us not only with visits, but with handmade treasures that keep them very near.  Papa made the beautiful crib that we brought our babies home from the hospital in and a gorgeous rocking chair that I hope will hold our own grandchildren someday too.  As talented as Papa is with furniture and very recent backsplash installations (mine!!), Nana is equally as gifted.  Little tokens of love sewn by Nana are all over around here.  Purses, doll bedding, holiday treats, clothes, etc., there are many ways Nana has loved us and shared her gifting in ways that are dear to us.  Although a very LONG drive down 35 separates us, we think of them all the time when we enjoy the treasures they've made with their own hands for us!  

It always makes me smile to hear Ava or Carter tell someone who comes over, "My Nana/Papa made that!"  What a treasure.  

Grandpa and Grandma Armstrong are the third set of Texas Grandparents!  We wish we didn't have to travel so far for night time swims in their pool, Tex-Mex on the Riverwalk or steaks on the grill.  They are always so thoughtful to send fun gift cards for the kids that involve trips to the toy store or build a bear or the disney store!  Always a hit with our kids and us too :) Carter has the same blonde locks as his Daddy and Grandpa Ron, he will carry the Armstrong name and who knows what other traits too??  We always have a great time when we are together and wish we could shrink the distance from the north and the south, often.  Plus, Grandpa and Grandma Armstrong are links to Uncle Sean and Jake, whom our kids are smitten with!  I bet my kids would give them (their 20 something uncles) a run for their money now that Ava AND Carter are bigger and faster to catch!  If we lived closer I know they would wear Sean and Jake out :) :) 

Grampy and Grammy are as wonderful as Grandparents as they are, parents.  I always knew having kids someday would create a special bond with my own parents, but until it happens to you it's pretty hard to comprehend the depth of appreciation or understanding you gain in an instant.  We are so thankful to be closer to them, they are our closest set of Grandparents according to miles on a map and we take advantage of that as often as we can!  Our kids have so many memories at my parents' house and often ask when they can go back to Iowa to play?  Because they are within driving distance, they were able to be at the hospital when each of my kids made their appearance, something I never imagined I'd have the blessing of sharing with my parents when we lived so much farther away.  They have taken our kids on weekends or even for a week at a time so that we can serve in ministry stuff or just have a little break from parenting ourselves.  I am so thankful and so grateful that God would move us closer for this season of life!  I love hopping in the car to drive to my parents' house, now with my own kids in tow.  Going "home" gives us such a respite from our busy, public life here.  I immediately relax when I step foot in their house and it gives me such joy to know my kids do too.  They are as comfortable there as they are at our own house, just like I was growing up near my Grandma's house.

Grampy and Grammy are so special to my kiddos and I know exactly how they feel!

Having a blended family is not an unusual thing in our world today.  Sometimes it's a challenge to juggle all these relationships or keep everybody in the loop, but one of the unexpected blessings of a large family is that my kids have the privilege of being loved by so many people!  They are so blessed to be the grandchildren of four different couples.  Not everybody has a relationship with one grandparent, let alone 8!  We count that a blessing and are grateful for the many ways their love is communicated and their different strengths are appreciated.  

We love you Texie, Craigy, Nana, Papa, Grandpa, Grandma, Grampy and Grammy!!   

Happy Grandparent's Day...  

Thank you for the many ways you love our kids so beautifully! 

On Psalm 4

I woke to the sound of a barking dog (our neighbor's) and clanging drawers (my husband's) on Thursday.  Not the most pleasant of ways to stir but certainly one of those mornings that causes one to just surrender to the interruption of sleep and say, "Ok, ok... I'm up!"  

My kids have been waking up so early lately, which is unlike them, but it was clear this morning they were still asleep and my quiet house (minus the incessant barking from across the street) further beckoned me to get up and enjoy the brief peace that an early morning provides.  So I did.  With my new favorite Starbucks brew in hand, I settled in to "my spot" and opened up the Book that gives freedom... perfect peace... all I need for life and godliness.  

I found myself in Psalm 4.  

NIV (David writing) 

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.  

Give me relief from my distress; 

be merciful to me and hear my prayer. 

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?

How long will you love delusions and seek false gods? 

Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; 

the Lord will hear when I call to him. 

In your anger do not sin; 

when you are on your beds, 

search your hearts and be silent.

Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord. 

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?" 

Let the light of your face shine upon us, "O Lord. 

You have filled my heart with greater joy

than when their grain and new wine abound.

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." 

There are a million things that stood out to me in this Psalm...  Maybe not a million I suppose, but every line and every stanza is packed with truth and leapt off the pages this week.  We are nearing the end of our home projects around here, which is a good feeling.  With each new addition to our decor or fresh coat of paint, I am loving the outcome.  Suddenly this condo is blossoming into the butterfly I knew it could be.  Still, we are hoping and praying to pass the keys to someone else so that they can enjoy living here and we can enjoy living somewhere else, somewhere bigger to be specific.  We know the Lord has a plan for us and we know He has and will continue to meet our needs.  What we don't know is how.  Or when.  Or what our future holds.  This condo has been victim to an inflated real estate market followed by a huge collapse.  It's been a crushing blow to anything we had invested here and for years we've been and still are under the weight of it.  There are big things to consider in a possible move and in the role of landlords, territory that feels very foreign to us.  Next Fall Ava will be entering Kindergarten and suddenly school districts are of paramount importance to where we land.  

If I list the odds "against us" in this scenario, the list grows long and overwhelming.  We aren't too concerned about finding renters for our condo, the rental market is strong and we have lots of incentives in place in our building.  We will need a rental ourselves to go to and that's where we start to waiver a little bit.  We need wisdom that is not of us, we need discernment and we need the perfect place to land.  Not perfect in terms of style or amenities or luxury, but perfect in size, location and affordability.  It seems daunting to us... where do we start, will this actually work out in our favor, are we doing the right thing?  It's been so easy for the enemy to insert fear and anxiety and to plant lies in our minds, when we LET him.  But as I am learning to do daily, I make my list of odds "in our favor" to view next to our lists of odds "against us."  One list is long and detailed, loaded with reasons to doubt.  The other is unreasonably short, really just containing one thing... We know and love the Lord and He WILL take care of us.  Psalm 4 soothed my soul this week with more reminders of Who God is, who we are and why He is totally trustworthy. We really have NO idea how this whole thing is going to play out.  All along this journey we've felt the Lord only giving us enough light for one step at a time, keeping us in the dark about the destination or the journey ahead.  While I'd love to know the big picture, I know that this place of daily dependence on the Lord is good for us.  Good for me.  Here are some reasons I know this to be true from Psalm 4...

Answer me when I call to you...

-Don't we all just want to be heard when it comes right down to it??  I say this line many times a day to my kids.  When you hear me call you, answer me.  And now David is saying this same thing to the Lord.  ANSWER ME!  Note that he isn't speaking in a demanding or authoritative tone toward the Lord, no... the creation is not commanding the Creator, but in expectancy and confidence he is calling out to the Lord.  We know this because he calls him "my righteous God."  For David to call God righteous is for him to declare and believe that in that righteousness there is goodness.  And endless power.  And perfect Sovereignty.  He knows the Righteous One will hear him and will even answer him because that's WHO God is.  He is able to hear our call and He longs for us to be in relationship with Him.  To trust Him enough to call on Him, David reveals his dependence on God and we draw courage and strength to place our dependence on him too... Because His God is righteous, David knows his request will not fall on deaf ears.  Oh how I need to remind myself of that truth often!  When I lay requests before the Lord or feel burdened by a need that crushes me, it's easy to feel forgotten and left to fend for myself.  But there is not truth in that feeling.  He DOES hear me and He DOES answer me when I call.  Every time.  This morning I am clinging to the promise of that with confidence like David.  

Know that the Lord has set apart the Godly for himself...

-Those who call on the name of the Lord belong to Him.  When we trust in Him as Savior and give him the place of LORD in our life, we can know that we know, we are His and He only acts in our best interest.  Everything He does for us or allows in our life is always for the purpose of His glory and our good.  He literally sets us apart from everyone else and protects us.  Sometimes I forget that my salvation through Jesus Christ gives me a standing before the Lord that is privileged.  Not because of my own righteousness or my own goodness, apart from Him I can do nothing that is inherently good.  It's only by the person and work of Jesus Christ at the cross and in the grave that secures my place in God's family and allows me to stand in his presence un-condemned and free.  David reminds us here to know this.  Not just believe it, but know it and act out of that knowledge accordingly.  If I know that God has set me apart for himself, even when my circumstances are less than favorable or when I fall for the lie that I'm the "only one" who is experiencing this hardship and God has left me to struggle on my own, I can refute that lie with the truth that I belong to Him.  He answers me when I call and I am so dear to Him that He has set me apart as one of His own.  I do not have to fear what this world offers me, I have a protector who is greater than anything in this world and is taking care of those He loves.  And I don't have to hope that God loves and cares for me like this, I can know it and rest in it.  

Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord...

-I appreciate that David reminds us of our responsibility when we are facing hardship and even being wronged.  Before this phrase he exhorts us to not sin in our anger... which doesn't mean we can't be angry, we just have to keep it within the realm of what is Godly and be sure that in our anger we are free of sin.  He also says to be silent before the Lord when we lie down at night, examining our hearts before Him to see if there is any sin there.  I think this is an area where we can go terribly wrong if we are not careful.  When we are guided and dictated by our emotions and our feelings, it's very easy to feel justified and to be blind to the reality of our own sin.  To even think we have no sin.  But according to David, we are to lay ourselves bare before Him.  When we do that, the Holy Spirit will help us see the truth of situation,  recognize our own shortcomings, and prompt us to confess them and make sure we are free in our conscience before God, through the grace and mercy He offers us in His forgiveness.  Only then can we rightly offer the sacrifices He's commanded of us, being obedient to His word, making us free to leave the rest up to the Lord.  We can place our burden or the circumstance we face, squarely on His shoulders with complete trust that He will take care of us.  We know this does not mean He will necessarily answer us in the way that seems favorable to us, but in the way that He deems best so that His name is lifted up and we are made more like Him through it.  If we will do what He asks, we can simply leave the rest up to Him.  The details that can keep me from sleeping are not mine to obsess over.  I am to know God's word and obey it and He will take care of all that I don't know.  

You have filled my heart with greater joy...

-This truth is one that I am grounding myself in.  The complete verse says "you have filled my heart with greater joy, than when their grain and new wine abound." In other words, when the "grain and new wine abound" it's pretty easy to be happy.  To be content.  When life hands you sunshine and roses, who among us struggles with joy?  But as David had come to know and believe about the Lord, the joy that comes from God is a greater joy.  It's a joy that transcends circumstances and abundance.  It's a joy that sings in the lean times and trusts in the face of disappointment.  It's a joy that gives hope when bottom falls out and helps our soul find rest when the struggle looms large.  David calls it a greater joy and so do I.  There is no conjuring up this kind of joy, it's not something we "lean into" or look within to find... I grieve at that very misguided lie that has permeated our post modern culture.  We can't manufacture this kind of peace or do more to find it.  It is of the Lord, it is from the Lord and it finds it way into our hearts and minds as we invite Him to make His home there and write His truth on the tablet of our heart.  Regardless of where this journey takes us and even if we never leave this condo when it's all said and done, He has filled my heart with a greater joy and I can and do delight in Him because of it.  My joy is not found in the square footage of my home or in the neighborhood we live in.  Some days I lose sight of that and have to confront my own sin of envy or an ungrateful heart.  But when I fixate on what Christ has done for me, the chief of sinners like Paul, I am reminded that He gives me a greater joy than when grain and new wine abound.  That's the kind of joy you can take to the bank and cash in on any time you want.  

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

-The funny thing about this whole process is I am sleeping better than ever.  I have dreams for my little family, hopes of how we could serve the Lord, longings that are unfulfilled... but the Prince of Peace soothes my soul and His Words command my soul when I start to give way to fear.  The only reason I'm not panicked or stressed or in despair constantly is simply because of Christ.  If I didn't know Him or trust Him or love Him I would be operating in my natural, type-A, control-freak state and wallowing in self-pity or shame.  I have certainly gone there before and from time to time, but the Lord faithfully shows me the grace I am rejecting and the peace I forfeit when I forget Who is really in control.  I agree with David, the Lord alone makes me dwell in the safety of a loving God's arms and gives me rest and peace when my head hits the pillow every night.  What a game changer that really is, right?  

These are the depths I've been ruminating in this week.  We are well.  God is on the throne and in control of every aspect of our lives.  We are not defeated, just challenged to walk in faith and not in fear or discouragement.  As we seek Him and put one foot in front of the other in faith, we know He will be all these things from Psalm 4 and more.  We are expectantly waiting to see what He does!  Stay tuned for the journey ahead, I'm committed to sharing with you as we go! 

Ephesians 3:20

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory..."

Wednesday

Wow, those holiday weeks really mess with the schedule, don't they??  I can't quite get on board with the days of the week this week, but here we are and it's Wednesday already.  Crazy.

We had a sweet play date this morning and I am trying to get some things ordered and organized for the next few weeks around here.  Ava goes to preschool next week, which seems so wild and out of body for me right now.  To be clear, she is thrilled about it, as are Travis and I.  We know this is good for her and will be such a fun thing.  I would be lying however, if I didn't say that my heart hurts just a little, not so much about her being gone 3 mornings a week, but more about the changing of seasons in our life.  The school years are closer than ever before and I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Conflicted?

Be sure to take in all the goodness of this photo.  The pose, the glitter shoes, the teal bow, the hair comb  brought along for doing Ariel's hair, bathtime Ariel, a princess finding book...

It's almost too much.  Almost.  

Changing gears, I'm so happy to finally be ordering all new flooring for our condo!  We've been talking about this and dreaming about it for awhile, but last night we agreed on all the proposals and materials and are ready to get the install dates on the calendar!  We chose the carpet a few weeks ago and I brought home a tile that we love for the bathrooms, yesterday.  We forced ourselves to labor a little bit on Labor Day and now our painting to-do list is down to 1 bathroom.  We're so close to the finish line I can see it!!  

The lighting in this picture is not great therefore the color representation is not exactly accurate, but you can see our new color on the left and the old color on the right.  In real life we just went a little bit warmer, but I'm guessing the average person who came to my house would never notice the difference.  We went from one neutral to another, but it does feel fresh and clean and ties in all the other color tones in the rest of the house.  

We did the whole entry/living room in an afternoon/evening which was quick but great.  My goal is to finish the kids' bathroom this week and then put the paint cans/supplies away forever!!!  Or at least until we move somewhere and have to paint again... which I can't even imagine right now :) The moving or the painting.  It's all of a lot of work people, a LOT of work!   

Yesterday in the midst of some seriously productive errands I decided to get the kids hair cut on the fly. Ava suggested it actually and amazingly, we were near the Kids Cut place and I decided to just go for it.  Getting a haircut with Carter is a form of torture.  He does not do well but yesterday was one of our better visits.  Still painful, but not life-ending.  

Look at that handsome little guy!  Still a total blondie, just like his Daddy was.  He got a new airplane as a reward for sitting through a haircut.  Probably not my greatest parenting move but sometimes we all have to survive, you know??  

This one is spicy.  He is going to give us a real run for our money by the time he's all grown up!  I'm actually really looking forward to spending some one on one time with Carter when Ava goes to preschool.  We've not had that time together on a regular basis and although I know he's going to miss his big sister like crazy, I hope I'm a good substitute for her absence.  I have no idea how we'll fill our time or what it's even going to feel like with one child again??  It's been so long since I've just had one and even then, I didn't have very long with her before Carter came along.  It's kind of a whole new world for me right now... Lots of changes on our horizon.  

Trav's team won 5-0 last night, which makes for a fun post game evening! 

With all the growing up going on over here, I still love to watch these two run as fast as they can to their Daddy, like little ants on that great big field.  I guess it's always a matter of perspective.  They can seem so big and I can get sad about saying goodbye to the baby/toddler stage but then when I see them around teenagers and young adults, suddenly they don't seem so big anymore!  

And for now I kind of like that perspective :) 

Happy Wednesday, friends! 

August in Review

So, what have we been up to lately?  Here's a long look at August in pictures!

The 1st of August was our 10th anniversary! 

Two starry-eyed 20 somethings then...

... and now two starry-eyed thirty somethings today!

 As is our accidental tradition, Travis was scheduled for another mission's trip leaving very early on the 2nd, which meant that on our actual anniversary we really didn't have time to do anything together because we had so many errands to run for his trip!  I think we are 9 out of 10 for ministry trips/camps/events scheduled on our anniversary :) Just keeping the record going I suppose!  We did decide to stop in the afternoon with our kids and split this awesome mile-high ice cream pie and it was delicious.  Even between the 4 of us we couldn't finish it.  This picture does not do the size of it justice, it is HUGE!

After we sent Daddy off very early on the 2nd, we decided to make the most of our time together and started with some blueberry pancakes.  We've become addicted to them this summer!  Nobody was particularly thrilled about Daddy leaving, trips toward the end of the summer are hard because we're all over the grind by then and we just want him home.  But we re-grouped and I had some fun things planned for the kids while he was gone.

 Ava has been looking so much older this summer.  I often catch her doing something or playing in a way that seems so grown up.  She has been a delight at this age.  We are enjoying her imagination and blossoming conversation and reasoning skills.  She can talk your ears off and she's always working some kind of angle that involves a princess or a plea for a family movie night!  

 This little guy has also been doing some growing up this summer, giving us a real run for our money!  This season is not so much delightful as it is exhausting with Carter.  He has kept us on our toes for sure and we've made some memories with him that we will not soon forget!  He has taken to my own climbing ways recently and likes to get in the cupboards now and help himself to some snacks... awesome, right??  It's a really good thing he is cute!  That blonde head and toothy grin have saved his skin more than once this summer!

 While Trav was gone my mission was to do some serious painting in our condo.  I dreaded it all summer but at some point it just had to get done and I started in with the priming as soon as he left.  I will do a post soon on all the changes we've made around here this summer but as you can see my chocolate brown walls got a considerable facelift.

I sincerely dislike painting.  I enjoy choosing paint colors and telling someone what to paint, but the actual work of it??  Dislike. However, I knew I had to do it so I just determined to knock it out and by the end I've become quite good at it!  Especially cutting in around the ceiling and trim.  Oddly, I began to really enjoy that part!

Because of the amount of painting I needed to get done, my wonderful parents offered to take the kids so that I could really just get stuff done.  I kind of hated to send them to Iowa without me but it was a gift to have that time and freedom to work.  I was up til midnight almost every night painting and back at it early in the morning.  I could not have done that with them around!

 We made the transfer on a rainy day and they were off for a few days of fun at Grampy and Grammy's house!

 Before I knew it the kitchen was done and I was on to the next area!

 Meanwhile the kids were busy having a blast and catching some fish!

This was Carty's first time fishing and he finally got to use his new spiderman pole!  I got such cute pics from my Mom while she updated me on the status of the fish and let me know when Carty did indeed catch his first one!  

 Meanwhile, I moved on to the hallway and the bathroom... for the next 4 days.  I got a lot done, had some fun helpers come over and managed to squeeze two dinners in with girlfriends, but I was one tired girl and ready to have my husband back! 

When he returned from his trip, we managed to squeeze a very quick getaway in before the kids got home.  He had a very good trip and we got to catch up on a lot, also we just got to rest...

 We went to a cute little town not far from here and stayed in a darling inn that I'd stayed in before with friends.  It was a perfect two days of resting, eating out, strolling through the town, and just being together.  

 So grateful for these 10 years with my best friend.  God has been incredibly faithful to us! 

Because our summer has been nothing short of crazy, in classic fashion we got home from our getaway, greeted my parents and our kids for an evening, kissed them in the morning and then took 37 boys to our Church retreat center for a soccer retreat.  Trav kicked off his 4th year as Varsity Coach and on the first official day of practice we put on our second annual retreat.  I went as the cook and this 100 year old farm kitchen was my home for a solid 48 hours!

I brought some darling helpers along again this year.  

High school girls: The key to getting High School boys to be on their best behavior :) 

They were a great help to me and together we cranked out meal after meal for 37 hungry and sweaty people!

 This is what spaghetti looks like for 37 people.  Hours of work demolished in 10 minutes!  We had a great time and I was thankful it was just a one night retreat because I was tired by the time it was over and ready to cook for 4 again :) 

 I couldn't wait to get home to my babies!  

This little cutie started a summer dance camp while we were gone and we couldn't wait to see her in action when we got back!!

She was in HEAVEN at her Angelina Ballerina dance camp!

I will have to do a full post about it because it was so fun, but aren't these littles so sweet in their tutus??  

 The retreat was one of my last big commitments of the summer and praise the Lord, my last retreat for awhile!  I can't take another one, I really can't.  I hate packing after this summer!!  With "work" behind me I was determined to do some fun things with the kids and spend as much time together as we could. We made homemade pizza and had a movie night, which is quickly turning into our favorite tradition!  My kids are totally into "helping" me in the kitchen so this was a great night for them to dig in and participate!

Ava loves to tell me she's a "good cooker, mama!"  And she is! 

And this little guy is  too!

 We met some of our favorite friends at a local beach front and got there early enough to have the whole thing to ourselves!!

I have a post planned about all the changes we've got going on in our condo but this rug is one of my very favorites!!  The story is quite something about why I needed it and how I found it, but for now I'll just tease you with the picture!

 It's amazing the impact of a new rug and pillows!!  Just the refresh I've been been looking and waiting for!

 We decided to brave the State Fair this year with the kids.  The State Fair is a huge deal to Minnesotans, I believe we have the second largest one after Texas.  Nothing is more fun that eating your way around it and that's exactly what we did!

 But we also did lots of kid favorites, like sit in every John Deere vehicle available and build lego creations in the lego tent!  

 As much fun as everything was, I seriously think their favorite part was riding the mass transit bus to the fairgrounds!  They loved the view and not having to be in a car seat and couldn't wait to get back on the bus! Ha!

We wore them out pretty well!

One afternoon I found this little scene unfolding.  I like so many things about it I don't know where to start, but that horse tucked in under the rug might be the funniest!

 Soccer officially began two weeks ago with a Friday afternoon tournament and we packed up all our gear to go cheer Daddy and his team on!

 Snacks on the sidelines are among their favorite part of course.  

 This guy was a handful but so much easier than the last 2 years.  I might be able to actually watch some games this year!

 My favorite coach, back in action!  They got a great win in the first game and ended in a tie after two overtimes!  It was a hot, long day but fun to see his guys play so well.  

Soccer season 2013, here we go!

After Church I managed to talk these two into a picture... Please pay special attention to the dancing princesses on the coffee table.  They were also rejoicing over the new look in the living room I believe. 

 I know I shared this yesterday, but seriously.  Best pic of the summer!!

 A few weeks ago on a blazing hot Sunday we had a really fun pool party with all the Pastor's and their families from our church.  We were SO thankful for a cool pool on a day that felt like 100 degrees out... but also thankful for the friends we get to do ministry with! 

 Ava and her little friends!

 We got a crazy heat wave here last week, the same one that has been plaguing the whole country I think.  I took the kids to our local community center splash pad and lucky us, we had it all to ourselves for about 45 minutes!  

 We have loved this place for a couple of years now and thankfully my kids still have fun there. Next summer it may not be as captivating for them but we'll see!

We had a not so fun doctor's appt last week with a shot and some tears.  Always hate that!

But this little guy had to endure some unexpected tests too...We've been having lots of trouble with his congestion and snoring.  He has huge, obstructed tonsils and may be a candidate for having them out soon.  He looks happy here but it went downhill quickly after the blood draw and throat swab.  I needed a serious nap after we made it through this appt!!

 Thankfully by the end of the night we were better and made it out for another soccer game and another win!  My little sideline sweeties live for the minute the game ends and I give them permission to run across the field to their Dad!  They take off like shots and give him huge hugs while they tell him what a good job he did coaching, ha!  It's so cute, melts my heart every time.  

 We got an extra long weekend with Daddy getting some comp time on Thursday, so we spent a hot and hazy morning back at the beach.  

 And this splash pad.  I definitely played in it as much as the kids did!  

 It was miserably hot and humid out, I did it to survive :) 

I've been caught up in the world of tile for the last few days, trying to pick out some new stuff for our bathrooms and entry way.  I'm not sure I've gotten anywhere yet, but it's fun looking!

 We had another game on Friday night, which was ugly in every sense of the word.  We did not win on the scoreboard however we did end with a really neat time of both teams praying together.  A big public school and our little Christian school.  It was a sweet sight that made the score seem very inconsequential.  

 I tried to get this quickly and didn't get a great shot, but another sweet Mom wrote a really great blog post about it here that summed up the whole thing beautifully.  

 We closed out August with the glorious return of College Football!!!  YAY!!!  One of my favorite days of the whole year.  We had the games on all day and I had it on in the car while I ran errands too!

Even though my Hawkeyes lost in a lame way, my alma mater UNI won and beat ISU, which made up for the Hawkeyes! Brian and Rhonda came over for some fish tacos and some laughs while we watched a few more games and after they left I discovered this fun selfie they left for me on my phone!!

So there you have it! What we did all month long, minus the boring stuff and stuff I didn't photograph.  It was a fun month but bring on September!  We are ready for Fall over here!