A Prayer for Our Kids

We've had some sobering reminders lately about the importance and responsibility of praying fervently and faithfully for our kids.  If you and I are facebook friends, you've seen a link I shared over the last week about a young girl from our church (and our student ministries) who is 17 and went missing last Wednesday night.  The details are not public knowledge, nor my business to share, but the summary is that she and a 23 year old guy she recently met, left the country on one way tickets and after a frantic search were located in Mexico.  Yes, drug ridden, crime infested, crooked government, dangerous Mexico.  No place for a 17 year old girl to be.  As the information spread and her parents posted, desperate for any information anybody might have, the body of Christ rallied all over the country and prayed diligently for her safe return.  Trav and I knew her well in junior high, she was a very active kid in everything we did, sweet to the core and no one we would have guessed to find in this scenario.  I'm VERY happy to tell you that late last night, word came from her parents that they found her and she is on her way home to them.  We are praising the Lord for His protection over her life, because that story could have ended differently.  Sadly, there are many parents who do not get that resolution and who live lifetimes in anguish for children who never make it home. 

While it's been a horrible nightmare for her parents and heartbreaking for all of us to lie awake at night and wonder where she is and if she's ok, it's also been a sobering wake up call for us to hit our knees daily on behalf of our kids.  Over and over I've said to Travis, "I just don't know how I'd breathe if I didn't know where Ava or Carter were.  If I didn't know they were safe, if I didn't know who had them, if I didn't know if I'd see them again..."  Usually I couldn't finish that sentence without tears choking the words out of me. 

But the fact is, our kids are not ours to control.  There are days coming when they will make their own choices, when temptations will come knocking at their door, and the influences of their friends will drown out the instructions of their Mom and Dad.  The Lord may choose a hard road for them, He may set an obstacle in their path to overcome or He may take something away that they hold dear.  No matter what lies ahead, it's a scary thing as a parent to know we just can't protect them from everything.  We can't always see the danger ahead and divert it, and if we do see it coming, we can't always convince them to avoid it.  But it's our job to train them up in the ways and the knowledge of the Lord, gradually helping them transfer their dependance on us to a dependance on Him...

And what makes that even harder than it already is, is to know they will make mistakes along the way.  They will make choices that aren't always good, they'll listen to people they shouldn't and they'll disappoint us, and the Lord, at various times along the way.

So if we know all of that, why pray? 

What good does it do if we spent a lifetime praying and they still mess up and don't do what we want them to or what the Lord teaches them to do?  Does that mean our prayers weren't faithful enough?  Did we not believe the Lord enough?  Did we pray the wrong things?  Will He reject them because of it?

One of the things I'm learning while watching this unfold with this student of ours, is that we pray regardless of how we feel.  On good days AND in times of crisis, we cling to truth, not to emotion.  We don't let the enemy deceive us and tell us that the Lord won't hear us now because it's been to long.  We set aside our feelings and our biases and we go the Word to even know HOW to pray.  We also pray because it's our lifeline.  What else can we do?  Sometimes the worst part of watching our kids hurt is knowing that we can't stop it or solve it.  They have to learn the lesson.  They have to know the pain.  They have to feel the consequence.  We hate it, we don't like it and we want to take it away, but we can't.  So we pray.  The anxiety that wants to smother us won't, if we literally lay it down, as many times as it takes, at the feet of Jesus.  I'm convinced it's the only way to handle crisis without losing your mind in the process. 

We pray because talking to our Creator shifts our focus from us as problem solvers to Him as deliverer.  If we try to bear the weight, the grief, the disappointment alone...we wither under its burden.  We also pray because if we don't, we are in direct disobedience to Him.  If we are a child of God, meaning we've believed Him and trusted in Jesus alone as the rescuer of our souls from sin and an eternity apart from Him, then to not pray is to reject what he offers freely.  It's to know He is the way to true, lasting peace and to choose our own fight for a cheaper version.  It's to know that He said He wouldn't forsake His people and then to act as if He already did.  It's to read in His Word the command to rest and trust, no matter the circumstance, and then to decide that anxiety and stress seem like a better answer.  It's to choose disobedience over obedience because somehow we've decided that WE are our kids Savior and NOT HIM. 

Is it easy?  NO!  I literally cannot imagine where my mind would go or how I would know to breathe in and out if disaster struck my kids.  I KNOW that I could not handle it.  But that's the beauty of a faith in Jesus.  He know's we can't handle it either, that's why He died and offered a better way.  That's why He became our mediator through His death and resurrection in our place, to offer us DIRECT ACCESS to the God of this Universe.  The God who sees and knows and can deliver anyone from anything.  He knows we are weak in our own strength, so He doesn't ask us to walk in that.  He asks us to trust Him and rely on His strength for the journey. 

It's a beautiful outcome that a lost student is on her way home.  Certainly the cries of God's people on her behalf were heard.  EVERY SINGLE ONE.  But it's not our privilege to know why He allowed this for her and a different outcome for another.  He is God and He doesn't ever promise us all the answers.  Prayer is not a formula, if you pray hard/long/well enough, He'll do what we ask.  He may.  But He may not.  Regardless of what He chooses, HE chooses.  Because He's God.  And He has a plan.  A plan that isn't "OK" or "version 2.0", it's the same plan He's had from the beginning.  He knows how to start it and end it and it's our job to trust Him with the in between.  It's not easy to trust, but He provides the grace to do it. 

In the midst of all this, we watched the movie Soul Surfer.  If you haven't seen it you should.  It's the story of the young surfer, Bethany Hamilton, who lost her arm in a shark attack.  As we watched it, I knew what was coming, I've heard her interviewed many times and yet, I sobbed my way through it.  The grief of watching the Lord allow a path that we don't want for our kids is gut wrenchinly hard.  I just kept marveling at how her parents must have dealt with the sorrow of knowing life would never be the same for their daughter and they couldn't do anything about it.  And YET.  If you know her story or you've seen the movie, it's just a beautiful reminder of our sweet Savior.  As they've trusted Him, He has taken her on a journey that far exceeded her dreams and He's given her an international platform to share what He's done in her life.  That part I love.  But what's hard to swallow is that it took a shark to get her there.  It took a significant loss for a greater gain.  What a parallel to the cross.  Through the SIGNIFICANT loss of Jesus Christ, a GREATER gain was won for all who believe.  Death was swallowed up, eternity was secured.  But it wouldn't have been that way without the pain, without the scourging, without the bloody sacrifice on that cross. 

I wish I knew what the Lord has is store for our Ava and Carter.  I wish I could prepare them for the twists and turns.  I wish I could write the ending...or do I?  Would it be better for them if their Mom, frail in her humanity chose a plan for their lives?  Or can I dare myself to REST in the future that our SOVEREIGN GOD is in control.  HE knows what's best for them, not me.  HE has a way marked out for them if they'll decided to follow Him. 

As I've been reading through 1 Kings,  I am focused on the legacy of one generation to another.  Reading about David's life from start to end, the Lord tells us that "My servant David, who kept My commandments and who followed Me with all his heart, to do only what was right in My eyes..." (1 Kings 14:8) had a son, "So King Solomon surpassed all the kings of the earth in riches and wisdom.  Now all the earth sought the presence of Solomon to hear his wisdom, which God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:24)  It seemed as if David's son would follow in the footsteps and blessings of his father.  But "For it was so, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned his heart after other gods; and his heart was not loyal to the Lord his God, as was the heart of his father David...Solomon did evil in the sight of the Lord, and did not FULLY follow the Lord, as did his father David." (1 Kings 11:4,6)  He didn't follow his father's ways and while he followed the Lord most of his life, he didn't do it fully, to the end.  And so there were consequences and the Kingdom was eventually taken from Solomon's son, who did more evil and during his reign, a King of Egypt came "And he took away the treasures of the house of the Lord and the treasures of the King's house; he took away everything." (1 Kings 14:26)  The disobedience of the father, trickled down to the son and as they both turned from the Lord, disaster overtook their house. 

Thinking about the generations that followed David, makes me think about the generations that follow me.  It drives me to pray that I would also be like David, fully following the Lord til my last day, but also that my children would fully follow them to their last day.  More than begging the Lord to keep them from disaster or to shelter them from making mistakes, I'd rather pray that they keep His commandments, follow the Lord with all their heart, doing what's right in His eyes and following Him fully to the end.  

I can't predict their future, but I can go to my knees and pray for their hearts along the way.  As their Mom, there is no greater privilege or responsibility I have than that.  It's been an emotional week, waking me up to that fact, but I'm grateful to God for opening my eyes to my need for HIM in all things, especially in faithfully praying for my kids.  I pray that you and I never get a phone call like our student's parents got last week, but if we do, may we be found faithful in our devotion and trust in Him and may our kids know and walk with the Lord all their days, despite the bumps and bruises along the way.

Sweet Ava Page

I know I've mentioned a lot lately about how we are enduring the terrible 2's in a big way with a certain little lady.  While that's true, I do want to make sure I share some of the good things we are seeing too.  In no way, would I classify this year as terrible, but I would say it's been challenging.  I think we reached our first real "crossroads" with Miss Ava over the last few months as she tested us in just about every area.  If I'm honest, there were days I didn't think I'd live through.  God gave my Ava a very independant and strong will, which coupled with her inherited sin nature, has been a challenge to parent.  As we've sought the Lord about how to parent and direct Ava, He has faithfully answered us.  Yes I've read lots of books and asked friends many questions, but honestly the best parenting advice we've gotten has been directly from the Lord.  When I went to the Word and dug out verses and passages about parenting, then prayed for the Lord to literally give me insight into Ava's heart, He revealed things I didn't know. 

He's helped me see the unique parts of her personality and understand that she is the way she is because He chose those things for her.  But more importantly, He's showing me things in me that need to change.  Tones that I used with her that weren't conducive to softening her heart; patience that I withheld from her; and avoidance to discipline the way He commands.  As I've watched her respond to our efforts, it's pretty clear when we are handling things well and when we aren't.  In general, if I snap at her, she fights back.  But if I calmly lay out the expectation, the infraction, the consequence, etc. then she responds to me.  We've had days that are a struggle from begining to end and I know, those are always going to be there.  But lately, I've been able to tell Travis that I see a real change in her.  I get a lot more "Ok, Mommy" or "Yes, Mommy" out of her and just general obedience that wasn't there a few months ago.  It hasn't come easily however, I've fought for it and Trav has fought for it.  We know the Lord has an expectation of us and of kids to obey our authorities. So when the defiance rears it's ugly head, it's our responsibility to correct that in her and tend to the issues of her heart, not just her behavior. 

So, I wanted to take the time to write down a few things she's doing and saying right now that make us smile.  At almost 2.5 years old, she is developing and changing every day.  She's talking in sentences and really understanding most of what we tell her.  She's a big help to me with Carter and it warms my heart to hear her teachers at Church tell me how sweet she is :) I'm so proud of her!  I know we have a long way to go and I keep hearing that 3 is much harder than 2, but regardless of how it goes I am encouraged to see firsthand that the Lord cares deeply about my role as a Mom.  He wants me to rely on Him for the wisdom and knowledge I need to guide and direct my kids toward Him.  When I'm in tears because Ava just won't listen and I'm at the end of my rope, He is there to remind me of my purpose, to give me the patience I lack and to help me get through the day without regret.  He doesn't ask us to do things and then leave us helpless.  I'm so grateful for a faithful Savior and for the chance to be a Mom. 

I love both of my kiddos more than I ever could have imagined... 

...But here are some sweet things I love about my little Ava right now...

In an effort to be helpful while I'm trying get everyone loaded up and out the door, Ava's new thing is to ask me, "I go sit on bench Mama?"  She gets her things together, opens our door and then climbs up on the bench outside our front door to wait for Carter and I.  It's very helpful actually and she loves the independence of sitting out there alone.  I still get surprised when she asks me to do it and then I smile because it's fun for her and a big help to me.  I'm always looking for ways to affirm her and build her up when she's trying to help.  This makes it easy :)

This summer she was the queen of the slides!  Nothing scared her, except the thought of a bug on the slide.  Her frequent comment to me was, "No bugs on slide, right Mama?  No bugs." 

I don't know why the bugs freaked her out but they did!

As soon as she was good to go, however, she frequently told me "I go so fast!"  

or "I do big slide at park wif Daddy, Mom!"

The little mother in Ava has really come out this summer, particularly with Carter.  I love to overhear her with him.  She says things like:

"OH No, Carty!  Be careful!"

"Ohhh Buddy, buddy, buddy.  Dats ok buddy, I help you."

"Carter, where are you?  Come here buddy.  I play wif you."

"Wanna go to da park Carty?"

But it's not just Carter who is the object of her mothering.  Her babies are treasures to her, but none more than her baby Stella.  Which is so fun because I just LOVE to hear her say "Stella" :)

It fun to listen while she's playing.  I hear lots of repeating from my own mouth!

"Hi Stella! You have a good nap?" or

"STELLLLLAAAA!" 

"Are you poopy? You need new diaper?" 

Of course it's not all rosy when she feels her brother is invading her space!  Then I hear lots of things like:

"NO!  Dat's MINES!" or "Get down Carty!"  "Don't touch!"

She's definitely got friends she asks for now, which is fun.  Usually before I leave the room when I'm putting her down for a nap, she'll ask me "Can we go play wif Callan, maybe? Kylie? Connor? Cayden? Christian? Julia? Kaelem? Quincy? Rueben?" 

Those are her people :)

One of our big battles is usually over hair.  She would love for me not to touch it.  Ever.  For the most part I don't fight her, but I do insist on combing it at the very least.  It's so cute when she let's me fix it, but often all I hear from her is..."Hurts Mommy.  It hurts."  Of course she says that when I'm 10 feet from her before I've even touched her head! Lately I've been winning the battle by reminding her that Repunzel lets her Mommy comb her long hair.  That makes her pause long enough to let me comb it :)

She's recently figured out how to open the refrigerator, which is so fun for her.  She's usually on the hunt for cheese and juice.  She'll say, "I go get a cheese stick?  Oh, Ok. Dat's good.  Thank you."  She spits the whole sentence out before I can get a word in, which basically leaves me with nothing :)

Lately this little girl lights up whenever I smile at her and come swooping in for a kiss.  She crinkles her nose and giggles then says..."SOOOO MUCH!"  because I usually say to her, "Do you know how much Mommy loves you?  SOOOOO much!

She's very particular, like her Mother.  She loves to play with her cars and line them all up just so.  Her favorites are "Mader" and "Queen" from Cars :)  She also loves the john deere tractors she has because she calls them "Grampy's jon deere trackers."

One of the craziest things this month is that she's totally figured out all of our dvd players.  Sometimes she has them up and running before she even asks me, which is always a discussion, but secretly I actually like that she knows how to do this!  It's helpful. 

Her favorite things to ask for are:

"Watcha Tangled?" or "Watch cars?" or "Watch Elmo?" but she really like "New Barney" or "Barney Goes to Zoo."  She still asks to "Watch Praise Baby" and now she even knows the names of them.  The other day she asked me for "God of Wonders" although it took me awhile to figure that out :) 

I love that she greets me every day with a "Hi Mommy!!" and a big kiss.  When I ask her to do something these days, she answers me with an "Oh, Ok." which also makes me smile.

She LOVES her Daddy so much and today when we went to see him at work, she put something back in his desk drawer after he asked her to, then closed the drawer and said, "Sorry about dat Daddy."

Our hearts melted in a puddle on the floor.

She loves Carter and can't wait for the minute he wakes up each day.  She runs to "check em" and then says, "Hi Carty!!  Hi buddy!  How you?"

It's precious and I hope as they grow older, her love for him only deepens.

After I took Carter's 10 month picture last month, in his rocker with the brown bear, this is how I found her a few minutes later.  Taking the same picture with her baby and her toy camera. 

There is so much I love about my baby girl.  She is a delight and still to this day, a living, breathing reminder of God's faithfulness.  I'm so thankful God gave AVA to us, when He did.  I can't imagine life without her.  We are so proud of her and love to see her growing in her obedience.  I find myself thanking Him lately for allowing me to see progress and for the reminder that I cannot do this job of being a Mom without Him leading me every step of the way. 

I love you Ava. 

Thanks for being patient with your Mom :)

Bracing for the Beginning

Friends.
Deep breath. 
It's here. 
What's here?

Fall. 
Ahhhhhhhhh...

To say I'm excited is an understatement.  Really thrilled is more like it!  I don't know what the official first day of Fall is (I'm sure my brother in law will inform me) but in our books, it's officially here.  We're past labor day and school has started.  Tomorrow we start Tuesday morning Bible study and Wednesday we kick-off student ministries for the year.  SUCH a fun week!!  Plus, the weather is about to change in a GREAT way...Today it's 90, tomorrow it will be in the 70's and the rest of the week in the 60's!!  Just perfect. 

I'm way over being hot.  I'm done with shorts and flip flops and ready for jeans, boots and sweaters.  Just typing that makes my heart happy in fact :)

I was at the store yesterday and spotted the first apple cider display, which is my drug of choice from now til Christmas.  I haven't ordered a pumpkin spice latte yet but I will be, the next time I'm at Starbucks.  I did a little fall display with my cousin at our Church last weekend, for the Beth Moore Simulcast we hosted, and I think that jumpstarted my desire to break out the fall decor around here and just embrace the season with arms wide open.  I've been cleaning and de-cluttering all day, making room for places to put my fall stuff.  I haven't burned a fall candle yet, but mark my words, that will be happening in a matter of hours.  After I go buy one!  I've embraced the return of football and even celebrated by making a 7 layer dip for dinner last night.  Yes.  Sunday night football, chips and a spicy bean dip.  It was my husband's dream and it made me ready for soups and stews :)

It's also recently dawned on me that Carter's 1st birthday is only weeks away now!!  I'm refraining from dwelling on the emotions of that today, but instead getting very tickled at the thought of planning his little party!  Since Trav, Ava and I all have April birthdays, I think I'm especially going to love planning an October party every year.  So many fun themes that go with fall...

Sidenote-Can you believe this little person is about to turn 1???

Look at that blonde mop on his head and those bottom teeth...Gets me everytime!

Additional Sidenote-Yes, we will be getting this kid's hair cut.  It's not so offensive in person, but I'm realizing these pictures are making a liar out of me.  Just focus on the big blue eyes.  They more than make up for the long hair that is resting dangerously close to his eyelids. 

Ok, back to all things fall.

Because I'm dying to know...

Have you joined the pininterest craze yet???

I recently joined and holy cow.  That is crazy fun and WAY addicting.  However, in addition to all the dreaming and pinning I've done, I've also picked up several great ideas and recipes that I think make up for the time I've spent looking for them :) Ha ha!  That's my way of spinning that...I think you can find me just by my name, Stephanie Armstrong.  Almost as fun as all the pictures and ideas are the names people give their boards!  Fascinating.  And makes me want to rename all of mine on a daily basis.  Truthfully, I'm only on there once or twice a week, but when I bring that website up, it is nearly impossible to get off it.  It's the perfect site if your man is working late and the kids are in bed :) Before you know it, it's midnight and you're ready to re-do your entire home or start a cooking show!!  I just love seeing all my friends' pins and the things they love too.  So girly, it's almost like having a virtual coffee date.

ANYWAY, all that to say, here is the latest treat Trav and I have been indulging in because I got the recipe on pininterest and couldn't wait to try it!

Let me walk you through it.

Start with 2 slices of apple rings, one with a smear of peanut butter and another with a smear of nutella, then add granola and mini chocolate chips.  Sandwich together and ENJOY!! 

Holy. Cow. 

It's yummy and not totally awful for you :)

I've learned I need an apple core-er (??) Is that a word??  Regardless, I need one.  It would make my apple rings so much prettier.  If you want to take out the nutella and just do peanut butter, you could.  I think that was the original idea, but I've never been one to shy away from extra chocolate!  Ha!

I hope you are enjoying the beginning of Fall like I am!  What are you favorite things about the season?  Any fall must-haves that I'm missing??  I'm cornering Trav tonight, with our calendars, to nail down a date for a trip to the apple orchard and a fall photo shoot. 

I know he'll be so excited about both!  Ha Ha!

Happy Monday friends! 

Fanatic Fans

It's been an exhausting weekend.  Not because our schedules have run us ragged, but because our favorite teams have!  Our heads hit the pillow last night like bricks, simply because we had one of those Saturdays that drained every emotion from our bodies.  Between a triple overtime loss by our beloved Iowa Hawkeyes and a 1-0 overtime loss by Trav's high school soccer team, we had a stressful, exciting and exhausting day. 

I realize that not all people probably feel a loss as deeply as I do.  I can't help it.  I'm so competitive I can't passively watch a game without feeling the entire thing from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes.  If passion were a spiritual gift, I believe it would be my top one!  Sports just bring out a drive in me that lies dormant in just about every other area of my life.  I hate to lose, but I can appreciate a loss when a game is played well and is a fight to the bitter end. 

Both games were a little bit like that yesterday.  Down to the wire and close.  Unfortunately my Hawks lost to our arch rivals, so that did not go down well.  I am still licking my wounds from that.  Trav's team tied in regulation and they lost by a goal in one of the overtime periods.  BUT they played so great and they left everything on the field.  It was a very fun game and we were proud of our guys for fighting hard against a team that blew us out of the water last year. 

Anyway, I thought I'd show you our little superfans in all their gear yesterday.  I had Ava shouting "Go Hawks!" and it's my mission to teach her the Iowa fight song.  Carter has some time to learn the drill, but he sure looked cute in his Hawkeye stuff! 

Rockin her tutu that I made 2 years ago, during her first football season!

She loved wearing this, I think we're on the cusp of her getting into dressing up and wanting to wear princess stuff.  So far she hasn't really cared, but the minute I put this on her yesterday she ran around the house, dancing and twirling and singing.  So fun!

Go Hawks!!  We're #1!!  (although sadly, not yesterday)

I had to get a pic with my little Hawks in training!

We are loving the black and gold in our wardrobes!! 

AND Carty's Iowa paci was appropriate for the occasion.

Sweet :)

After a 4 hour marathon and 3 nailbiting overtimes, we (I) got our composure together and packed up to switch gears and head to the soccer game.  A sucker made Ava feel much better about her Hawkeyes, but the same did not work for her Mother.  I limped to the game, still fuming about our STUPID play calling in the 3rd overtime, on the 4th down with 1 yard to go.   

...Excuse me for a minute, I can't even stand to think about it....

Ahem.

Ok, that's better. 

Anyway, we had a beautiful night for soccer at a huge new high school that is close to our house. 

They have a gorgeous stadium and my kids just loved climbing and exploring every inch!

Even Carter figured out how to get the best view.

Of course our main objective was to cheer for Daddy and the boys, and Ava made sure she followed directions.  It's so fun to hear her yell, "GO Stars!"  or to recognize some of the players and cheer for them.  She particularly likes to cheer for a boy named Connor, I think because she has a friend named Connor.  She likes to ask me, "That Connor, Mom?" whenever someone runs with the ball.  I did have a moment of laughter when I made a quiet comment to myself about their coach and a "cheap" move he made.  She made sure to yell "CHEAP!"  as soon as I said it, which made all the parents around me laugh as I made another mental note to think before I speak, unless I don't care about her repeating it at decibal levels! 

It was a full Saturday for the Armstrongs and after 2 big losses, we treated ourselves to dinner out :)

Tonight Trav's Cowboys play so depending on how that goes, we may or may not watch!  I'm not sure our hearts can take much more disappointment this weekend! 

As much as it takes out of me, I do LOVE this time of year and all the excitement Fall sports bring. 

Hope your teams fared better than ours this weekend!!

It Builds Character

This has been a week.

So glad it's Friday :)

I've been dealing with some kind of virus/cold/upper respiratory thing that has wiped me out.  Ava and I both have a cough and some congestion, fortunately Carter and Trav have steered clear for now.  I hate feeling sick but especially during the last week of summer.  School starts around here next Tuesday and Fall is already in the air.  Personally I love Fall so I'm not too bent out of shape about it, but there is something about letting go of summer that's always a tiny bit sad.  Good to get back into a schedule and all the fun things ahead, but sad to let go of the relaxing part of summer.  But ready or not, right?? 

One of the things keeping us busy right now is soccer.  Travis has started coaching the varsity boys again and they've already had a couple of games.  He is busy burning the candle at both ends right now and working hard for us, but he truly does love coaching and we are both fans of the high school sports scene.  So, in an effort to see him more and to give him our support, we have become super fans.  I've taken the kids to both games so we can "cheer for the boys and Daddy" as I like to tell Ava.  I wish you could see us, we are a form of entertainment I'm sure.  There are several observations that I've made already with a whopping 2 games under our belts and I'd like to share them with you on this sunny Friday afternoon. 

I'm sure you will read them with held breath, they are so riveting...

Or not.

"Things I've Learned on the Soccer Field" by Stephanie

1. Getting to the game is half the battle.  No matter how the game turns out, just pulling in the parking lot with BOTH of my children AND my sanity makes me feel as if I've already won.  I know this because in the two short opportunities we've had to pull this off, we've come dangerously close to blowing it from the beginning.  I've nearly lost my sanity twice and already wished I could just leave the kids at home more than once :) Which brings me to my second point... 

2. If it used to take me an hour last season to get everyone dressed, packed and loaded in the car, this year it's easily taking two.  By the time both kids are dressed, someone needs a new diaper and (twice) my little Ava has fallen apart in some kind of massive meltdown at the thought that she needs to "go poopy" when in fact, she really doesn't.  But the mere thought of it makes her panic and sob, which is interesting because she manages to go all day long without so much as a tear or a mention of it.  There is some kind of link to us getting the car and going somewhere.  I wish I could accurately describe it for you and explain it, but that would spoil all the *fun*.  It's completely irrational, hysterical and at least 20 minutes long and I'm doing my best to remain calm and sensitive to her apparent fear.

3. Any attempt on my behalf to get ready and put on a little

make-up for the occasion is a complete exercise in futility.  By the time the aforementioned meltdown is over, I'm sweating from head to toe and at least one vein is likely popping out of my forehead.  From now on, I'll just be wearing a hat and hiding under it for the duration of the game.

4.  Our minivan is a TREASURE and could not have come at a better time.  The circus act of getting 3 people from our 2nd floor condo down to our garage is a sight to see.  It makes my heart skip a beat to press 3 little buttons and watch my automatic doors and back gate open up for all of us to get in and dump our stuff.  I almost want to cry with joy over it :)  On top of that, the navigation system which we didn't need to have but got anyway has been equally as delightful.  With voice commands I've been able to look up the location of each school and then follow the prompts from the sweet woman who lives in our sound system.  Ava is dying to "see the lady" and I am too, so I can thank her for her accurate directions and for being someone I can talk to on the ride.  I think I should name her.

5.  Because we live in Minnesota and it's almost "Fall" I've surrendered to the notion that I have to pack the farm in our van, due to the incredible fluctuation in weather.  For example, it was drizzly and 60 degrees (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?) on Tuesday night but it was 90 degrees and humid yesterday.  Blankets, umbrellas, sweatshirts, rain gear, camping chairs, strollers, diaper bags, toys, etc., all live in our van right now.  I've never loved having a third row more!

6.  It took me a few minutes to catch on, but apparently the word on the street (among the parents of our team) is that my name is Jodi.  Or maybe Jody?  Not sure how they spell it, but so far I've been called that by more than one person so I assume the conversation in the stands goes something like this...

"Who is that tired woman with those little kids??  Doesn't she know this is high school soccer, not pee wee soccer?  Oh, it's Travis' wife I bet...Yeah, those must be his kids...Too bad their Mother didn't dress them properly.  It's cold/hot/raining out and they look cold/hot/wet.  What's her name?  Does anyone remember from last year?  Jodi??  Sounds good to us, we'll just go with that. What about her kids' names?  Ada? And the baby boy, right? Hi Jodi! Do you and Ada and your little one want to sit with us?"

7.  In addition to correcting names, I'm getting a good lesson (and laugh) about what I yell in front of Ava.  For example, I've taught her to yell, "GO STARS!" or "C'MON GUYS!" or "SHOOT IT!" and it's hilarious to hear her mousy little voice shout at the top of her lungs, but she loves it!  In her new found freedom to yell, she's also decided to throw in a few of her own lines too.  So far I've caught her saying, "HI DADDY!!  I'M OVER HERE!" or "GO DADDY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!" or "DADDY, I SITTING WITH MOMMY AND CARTER, RIGHT HERE."  Darling.  But, she also heard me say, "Oh Come on Ref! That was a terrible call!" (believe me it was) to which she shouted, "COME ON REF! TERRIBLE!"...also at the top of her lungs. 

Fun times.  Gonna have to keep the competitor in me a little more quiet :)

8. Carter's main goal while at the game is to crawl in the exact opposite direction I place him and towards the greatest amount of danger at the fastest pace.  He's very accomplished and good at reaching his goal.  I've also decided running gear would be a good choice for me when getting dressed.  I've yet to sit down and watch a play thanks to little Carty.  He may be young but he's not going to be a passive observer of life I can tell.  He's DYING to get on that field and to go everywhere his sister goes!  I've named him pigpen, after the fruit of his efforts to escape me.

9.  Last year was a cinderella year for this team, meaning we set school records, had the best win/loss record in the history of the school and won their conference tournament.  Super fun, but all that success means the pressure is on this year...and so far we are 0-2.  Trav's not worried, it's just the beginning of the season and we've played 2 big public schools (and we are a small Christian school) and a few losses are always good motivators.  But as the clock was winding down on Tuesday night, I heard a Mom a few rows back say "We've got a few coaching ideas for your husband Jodi."  I looked around for Jodi but didn't see her, so I just kept packing up my kids :)

10.  Sports build character.  They build character in the athletes, in the coaches, in the parents and in the coach's wife.  Good thing I love the coach, I love sports, and we think the parents are wonderful and so are their boys.  But make no mistake, I can already tell this will be a year with lots of opportunities to build character.  If soccer doesn't do it, chasing my kids will!  Ha ha!

No matter what the scoreboard says this year, there will be 3 fans who are completely sold on this coach and his ability to lead his team!

A little girl who is already proud of her Daddy and not afraid to tell the world...

...and a little boy who can't wait until he can run and play soccer too with the best coach we know.

Nothing says we love you and don't care about wins and losses like two little people who can't wait to wrestle and climb all over the man they only know as Daddy. 

Last year this little bruiser was still cooking in my oven and although I sat down more at the games, I wouldn't trade that for the joy of hauling 2 little cuties to every game! 

Don't you love his little soccer socks?? 

She was the darling of the stands last year and I think it's safe to say she still holds the same title.  She and Stella were very excited fans and will continue to be I'm sure. 

Isn't that right Ada??

I think I might like having a puesdo-identity, I can just blame all of the things I forget or the wild behavior of my kids on her :)  It might get dicey when I want to take some credit for the good stuff and I don't want Jodi to get my glory!  I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there, we're in no danger of it yet...

Happy Friday friends!

Go Stars!!

When You Don't See the Fruit Right Away...

I don't know about you, but aren't there times in your life (my life) when we are just so caught up in the mundane that we lose sight of the bigger picture? When the dishes stack up in the sink you just emptied and the mail comes again to sit in the same spot you just cleared off...on those days in particular, doesn't it just seem like you cannot win?? Like no matter how many times you pick those toys up or clean that room, it's only a matter of minutes before it's a disaster again and was your faithful work really worth the effort?


There have been seasons of ministry that have taught us (me) some very valuable lessons in some very dry and seemingly fruitless days. Days when the critics are many and the complaints numerous. Days when you show up, you excute a plan you prayed and labored over and as you watch the madness unfold around you, you have to wonder if anyone heard a single word of the message that the Lord so clearly asked you to bring? We've been there. Travis especially has shouldered days like that, seasons that we begged the Lord to end. When you work with people for a living and when those people are under the age of 18, there are many times when you question what you do. Because let's be honest, there aren't too many teenagers (although there are some) who are jumping at the chance to thank you for the hours you spent in prayer and in the Word or who are dying to tell you how much the Lord has been working in their lives and using you to show them some things they needed to hear. And consequently, there also aren't too many parents who are willing to put aside the preferences of their own kids to thank you for staying true to how the Lord is asking you to lead, not how they wish their son/daughter's needs were being met.

If we were fueled simply by compliments and affirmation of men, we'd never show up for another Sunday.

But as we've learned over the years, we aren't. And quite simply, those two things have nothing to do with why you do or do not serve.

You serve because the Lord is worthy of it. He deserves our best effort, our faithfulness in the Word, our conviction to pray and not just because we want Him to bless our efforts so we can achieve "success" but because He died to give us (me) a new life, to provide us (me) with hope that is rooted in Him and to secure a future that is kept by Him, for us (me). Because of Him, we are compelled to serve. As He laid down His life for us, we can lay down our lives for others too. Not because we're selfless or love to take a beating or have no self-esteem, but because He enables us to take the gifts and blessings He's given us and He asks us to give them back to others. To Him. To each other. To our kids. To our families, to our friends, and to students. He loved, so we love. He gave, so we give. He died to self, so we do too. All of it, humbly. To the best of our ability. With frail, flawed human hearts. With or without thanks. (1 John 3:16)

I share all of this because I think parenting is a lot like this. Maybe even mothering in particular. If we do it soley to hear a "thanks Mom" or to see our kids immediately and without fail heed our every instruction, we'd burn out in about 30 minutes. The fact is, it just may take years and years of faithfully serving and loving our kids before we see the real fruit of what we do. I might change a thousand diapers, wipe sticky messes clean for years to come, repeat myself a million times and not ever feel like I'm making much of a difference. Because the kids still fight, no one picks up their clothes and our natural reaction is always going to be to yell "Mine!" when we are threatened.

But that's not why we do it. It's not why we take a deep breath, patiently explain the same thing 20 more times, or commit ourselves to praying for our child's future spouse when that seems like a lightyear away. We do it because He's worthy of it. The Lord, not our kids. We don't serve them because they've "earned it", they'll never earn it. Just like He doesn't serve us because we've earned it. We never will. He CHOSE to love and serve us, WHILE WE WERE STILL SINNERS, not after we got all cleaned up and acceptable in His sight (Romans 5:8). He CHOSE to give up His very life before He saw any fruit in us, knowing that it was His will and part of His rescue plan for His people. And even more amazing, knowing that even in our rescued state, even as His adopted children, we'd still fail Him. We'd still sin, we'd still try to hide from Him or eat of that forbidden fruit...not from all that He provided for us but from the one thing He tried to keep us safe from. And yet, knowing all of that, He still CHOSE to love us first. (1 John 4:19)
So what does that mean for me? It means that no matter if my kids obey or don't, I have a choice to serve and love them every day. To be faithful to them, to keep doing the things I know I'm called to, regardless of the fruit it produces. Chances are, the fruit that is rotten now will one day become sweet. The little decisions that seem just that, little, will lead to bigger decisions down the road that will pay off. So if I CHOOSE to stay faithful in God's Word everyday now, it will pay off immensely in the present and in the future. If I CHOOSE to help them understand their need for boundaries now, it will pay off in the future. It may seem like it's falling on deaf ears now, but it's not. They just need time and lots of repetition for it to sink in...but they deserve the same patience and consistency and grace from their Mom, that she receives daily from Her Savior.

One of the sweetest blessings in student ministry is to taste the fruit of faithfulness, years later. It has amazed us to hear from students at 18, 19, or 20 that we (all too often) wrote off as troublemakers or disinterested or indifferent as junior highers. To receive an email or a phone call from a kid who tells us that something he/she remembers from junior high, or that they learned on a retreat, has impacted them or changed their lives all these years later is one of the highest honors of ministry. Not because it's a pat on our backs but because it's proof that when we were sure they weren't getting it or didn't like us or hated being there, God was still working. In ways we didn't know, in spite of us and maybe just through us. It never feels like "Finally, a thank you!" opportunity but instead a divine privilege to say "Thank you Lord for reminding us that YOU are the one who does the work and YOU are the one who calls us to stay faithful. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into YOUR plan and reminding us that our ways are not always your ways."

As I've remembered some of those students lately, their stories reminded me to stay faithful and look forward to the day when I have those same moments with my own kids.  When I can see good things in them that we've been working on, affirm them and then tell the Lord, "Thank you!!  Thank you for showing me this fruit NOW and for helping me stay faithful then, when I couldn't see it and I was sure they weren't getting it."  Because raising kids is hard.  Staying the course is exhausting and as the Bible tells us, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12)  There is reason it's literally sickening when you don't see the fruit.  BUT, when you see it and when you can finally taste it, it's like a divine feast from a life-giving tree.

For you, this post might not be about mothering.  Maybe for you, it's about a marriage that you are fighting for, or a job that you know you've been called to, or a ministry that you serve in.  Maybe the days are long and the critics are many and you are heart sick because you don't see any hope, or any future.  It's my prayer for you and for me to remember that in those dry seasons the Lord is still working.  If you are His child, He may be quietly establishing your steps or moving mountains behind the scenes or teaching you to be faithful in the wait.  You may never know the "why" of this season, but you can rest in the designer of this season.  Whatever your circumstance, don't wait for the fruit to stay faithful.  Someday you'll see the fruit, on this side of Heaven or the other.  It will come.  But in the mean time, keep getting out of bed and doing what you know is right.  Stay faithful in the Word and rest in the knowledge that He chose YOU first.  He loved YOU first.  He is fighting for YOU.  And He will stay faithful to YOU, regardless of whether you stay faithful to Him.  But oh that we WOULD stay faithful to Him!!  Our obedience is always His choice for our good and His glory...

Some truth to chew on today...

"But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8


"...Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love."
Ephesians 1:4


"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.  And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren."
1 John 3:16


"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14


"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23


"We love Him because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19

10 (.75) Months

Oh Carter, I'm really behind this month in posting your 10 month update...You are just a week or so away from turning 11 months so this morning I am getting this up fast and furiously! 

This has been a VERY big month for you!

I just love this picture of you buddy!  It's very fitting because in general you are just one happy, little guy.  As you've grown up and are starting to understand more and more, you have begun to get really excited or really mad :) Your emotions are in working order!

Here are some stats about you...

-You are sleeping better this month, we put you to bed around 8pm and you sleep til 6:30 or 7:00. We feed you and then you go back to sleep for another hour or so.  You usually nap for 1-2 hours in the morning and another 2-3 in the afternoon. 

-You are wearing 9-12 mo clothes, but more 12 mo than anything.  I don't know how much you weigh but you sure are solid!  You are getting very heavy for me to hold and I'm pretty sure you've passed your sister up in weight this month!

-You are still in a size 4 diaper

-You LOVE to eat, but only a few things :) I don't want to call you *picky* yet but you definitely know what you want and what you DON'T want.  You love carbs, i.e. bread, crackers, puffs, cereal, pasta etc.  You also love yogurt, applesauce, pears, peaches, and mandarin oranges.  What I can't get you to eat is a vegetable of any kind or much protein.  I just keep putting it in front of you, hoping you'll decide one day that you like it. 

-You are still drinking formula several times a day but you're really beginning to wean yourself off of it.  You drink a 6oz bottle in the morning and before bed, but during the day it's kind of a take it or leave it scenario.  That's ok though because we're very close to switching you over to whole milk completely, so I'm glad you are losing interest in formula.

The big news of the month is that you are crawling!!!  For the last few weeks you've been army crawling everywhere but on Friday, August 12th, we put you down for an afternoon nap and when you woke up I set you on the ground and watched while you got right up on your knees and just started cruising!  The best part was that Texie, Daddy and I all got to witness it firsthand and we just couldn't believe it.  It was like a switch flipped while you were sleeping and you just "got it."  Thankfully I also got it on video as it was unfolding, which is the kind of thing that keeps your Mom awake at night asking the Lord to grant us that grace to capture as many firsts on video as we can, especially for you :) The "second" child!  Ha ha! 

Since that day, you are now Carter the explorer!  You have been in every nook and cranny of our house, opening cupboards and drawers, finding all kinds of "treasures" on the floor and following your sister everywhere she goes.  It's a whole new world for you buddy and I love to watch you discover it!

As I mentioned earlier, you got to see your Texie this month and get lots of extra love from her :)

Now that you are on the move, I find you doing lots of this...self entertainment.

It's great watching you play with the things that interest you and knowing that you can get them out anytime you want!

I don't know if it's the crawling or what, but you've started to look so much older to us this month! 

So much like a little boy now :)

As you've started crawling you've also started pulling up on anything you can.

Which is exciting for this big sister! 

But also a little dicey when she realizes that you're now capable of reaching "her stuff!"

I think you are very happy with yourself this month Carter!  I can tell you've been wanting to do these things for awhile and now that you can, you are very happy about it :)

One thing that makes me laugh is to watch you discover any kind of soft blanket or toy.  You immediately dive bomb it and rub your face in it or roll around on it!  You love this stuffed horse because it's very soft and when you see it, you make a bee line for it to do this.  Makes us laugh every time!

You also love the plastic golf clubs.  Occasionally they become a weapon and I have to intervene, but mostly you just love to wave them around and put them in your mouth.  I hope this is the first chapter of your love for the game of golf!

You and Ava are becoming quite the pair.

We love to watch you "play" together and I can even let you guys be in another room without me, as long as I can hear you.  I can always tell trouble is coming when I hear..."NO Carty, dats MINES!"  I know to start running when those words come out :)

Mostly though, your big sister is thrilled about you.  She loves to make sure you have your blankie at all times and she has become the keeper of your pacis.  It makes our hearts glad to hear her say, "Come here buddy, be careful!"  or "Ohhhh Carty, do you love it?" or "Sooo cute Carty, Mommy look, so cute!

You guys are becoming fast friends and we are thankful.  When you're napping Carter, Ava asks me a thousands times if she can "go get um?" or "check um Momma?" or "See Carty??"  Even though she may take toys away from you or try to protect her treasures from you, she truly loves you and her little mothering instincts kick in when you are in trouble or crying or trying to do something.

Our big adventure this month was to take you camping!  Someday I'll realize how crazy that was, considering how little you are, but honestly you were so good!  And you loved the freedom to crawl all over the place and play in the dirt.  I wonder why??

At home you have become my little "helper" too.

Whenever you hear that dishwasher open, you come as fast as you can so you can get your little hands in there!

I have to move quickly, but I love this little face staring up at me.

I love you so much Carter.  It's such a joy to watch you develop and grow into the little boy that you are. 

Your Daddy and I wouldn't change anything about you.  We know the Lord has created every aspect of who you are and we are honored to train you up and guide you to know and love Him in return. 

We love you Carty!!

You bring laughter and more JOY to our home and we cannot imagine life without YOU!

Happy 10 months sweet boy!