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11.10.2010

Finding Our Place

Happy November from our little family to yours!  
Wondering if we're still alive?   It's been a while since I've posted anything and probably for good reason.  I have been on a technology fast, not necessarily out of obligation but due to survival.  Last week was one for the record books I'm afraid!  It started out so calmly but quickly became something of a circus.  After a few days on our own, Travis flew to Florida for Karen's funeral on the same day his Mom arrived for a visit.  The timing was perfect and totally of the Lord, but it was busy and poor Ava reached her breaking point on the day Texie got here.  I think the culmination of the last 4 weeks finally caught up with her and she was nothing short of difficult, mixed with glimpses of sweet :) Add a tired, grieving Mommy and an absent, grieving Daddy to the mix and you can imagine the fun we've had.  At least poor Carter slept through most of it!  During the day anyway...he chose to get his one on one time with me in the middle of the night.  I can't say I blame him.

 As we adjust to becoming a family of four, I'm finding that each of us have days that are good and days that are hard.  The tricky thing is that they rarely all occur on the same day!  When I'm at the end of my rope, Travis seems to have the patience I lack and the reverse is also true.  Ava has been very easy for these first few weeks, while Carter consumed so much of my time.  But now that he is becoming more predictable, my little Ava threw us for a big loop by refusing to nap and therefore becoming overtired, incredibly whiny and pretty demanding.  It's been a roller coaster ride over here to say the least, but I think we are finally coming out of the fog of the first month and I can start to see better days ahead...at least that's what I tell myself at night so that I can sleep :)   

Thankfully, Texie arrived at the perfect time to give us an extra set of arms and an extra dose of love.  
And no one was more appreciative than this little peanut, who was willing to do anything for a little more attention!  
I'm realizing how hard it must be for her to give up the life she's had and all the one on one time for the last 18 months.  I don't regret that or feel like we spoiled her, it just comes with the territory of being the first born.  But, having a new brother has also ushered in her first introduction to the concept of sharing.  Also good, just hard to teach to an 18 month old!  
In the same breath that I worry about Ava dealing with all the transition and I wonder how I can give her more of my time, I also worry about little Carter and have had to stop comparing "his experience" to hers.  They are two separate little people and I have to remember that they're going to have separate journey's. Neither one is better or worse, just different.  
Thankfully, the Lord is sovereign over it all and they aren't able to process any of those things yet!  They're' just happy to get attention from whomever is available and to know that they are loved.  I can confidently rest my head at night knowing that I might have failed at everything else that day but not that.  My time is divided but my babies are loved!  
 As the big sister around here, we've been celebrating the new milestones that Ava is reaching too!  
We are not ready to potty train quite yet, but Ava is definitely interested and Texie bought her a little potty of her own to get used to.  It took her all of 30 seconds to love it!  She plays on it, with it, and likes to sit down by sticking her foot into the bowl first.  We may have some re-training to do already :) 
 She is very interested in Carter now and today I caught her leaning over him saying, "Hi Buddy!"  
 She especially loves his gear and likes to play with it...
 ...or tell him all about it!
And he's very sweet to politely listen :) 
He turns his head toward all of us now and even toward his sister when we talk to him.  
 We're still working on the whole "let's love each other" thing, but I'm sure we'll get there eventually!  
Like in 18 years or so :) 
 Life with two under two is not easy for anyone....
...but it's the beautiful gift we've been blessed with and we're all finding our way as we adjust.  

I'm so thankful for all of the family we've had who have surrounded us and helped us manage this new reality, but I'm finally ready to do this "new life" on our own.  
Most days I still can't believe the Lord has given us two little ones to raise and love, but I'm so grateful He did.  Yes, we're tired and still fumbling through each day, but as I was reminded last week, He is faithful in everything.  Even the little, seemingly insignificant parts of our day.  He cares and He sees.  

I'm happy to say that today, on our first day alone again, He has blessed our day already!  Both kids have had a wonderful morning and they've both been sleeping for a couple of hours this afternoon...Hallelujah!!!  
Who knows what is in store for the rest of the day, but I'm sure we'll find our way and get through it :) 
Happy Wednesday!

2 comments:

petrii said...

Stephanie,
So glad things are settling down for you all. Your babies are so cute!! Carter looks so alert and happy.

Hope you get good rest tonight.

Love and hugs to you,
Dawn

Charlie and Manda said...

The first month fog clearing would be such a blessing. i totally understand. Hang in there. You're an amazing mommy Steph! Happy that you've kept blogging. I think it'll be a blessing in just a few short months, to see how far you've all come. hugs!