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11.04.2010

Is It Friday Yet????

Ahhh, where to begin???  

-I'm tired.  Physically.  Mentally.  Emotionally.  Spiritually...  
Tired.  
And I know it's just a season and I know it will soon pass.  
But still, I'm tired.

-On Tuesday afternoon, we learned that our sweet friend Karen lost her battle with cancer and went to be with Jesus.  While we rejoice in her ultimate healing and we're so thankful to know she is no longer suffering, because these last few months have been full of suffering, we are very sad.  I just find myself thinking about Forrest and the boys constantly and feel like my heart keeps breaking over and over.  I also hate that we've been so far away and in her last months we couldn't do anything to serve them or love them, aside from praying and encouraging them from a distance.  I know that mattered too, but there is something hard about not having a tangible way to love someone you care about.  Travis flew to Florida very early this morning to be there for the funeral tomorrow night.  While I'm glad he's there, I'm also sad I'm not.  It was a blessing that we could send him, and this is truly not my season to be able to quickly leave when I've got 2 little ones, but I still wish I was there.  My arms ache to hug the boys and to be able to say good-bye to Karen.  I can't say much more about it because it makes me cry...It's been a hard week to focus on much, I'm just trying to get through the days.  

-Thankfully, Trav's Mom arrived today to be with us for awhile.  I'm so thankful to have an extra set of arms around here, especially while Trav is gone.  But, it's also great for Ava and Carter to get some time with her.  And speaking of Ava...
...after a relatively smooth 3 weeks, today was the day that she decided to fall apart.  I don't want to  dwell on the details or they will also make me cry!  I'm trying to remember that her whole world has changed and she's only 18 months, but seriously I had to take a deep breath about every 5 minutes this afternoon. Naturally she decided to pull this stuff out on the day that her Daddy left and her Texie came to visit...She is doing the best she can I suppose and really, she's been pretty great through the chaos of the last 3 weeks.  But, I'm hoping tomorrow is better.  Or at least my patience is greater :) 
-Carter is doing well, doing a lot of this right now.  He must be growing again because I can hardly keep him awake!  He's been more alert this week and is starting to really respond to our voices.  I discovered today that he looks A LOT like Trav's Grandpa and Dad.  I saw the evidence in some old pictures and it was pretty funny!  He's definitely an Armstrong :)   I love him so much.  He's such a good baby and such a cuddle bug.  I love holding him and nursing him.  I am grateful for this little guy who has stolen my heart!!  
-It's 11pm and I should be sleeping, so I think I will.  Here's hoping we have a good night, since I'm solo without Trav.  I may or may not have begged Carter to cooperate after the day we had with his sister...I'm not sure he's old enough to take bribes from his Mommy yet but we'll see!  

Happy Friday!  
At least I hope it's a "happy" Friday :) 

5 comments:

Darla said...

Seeing the time of your post makes me realize we just missed each other. I prayed for you, Stephanie...

Charlie and Manda said...

mmm Steph. Hang in there. It's been a rougher week at our house too. Charlie says people have been telling him week three is a tough one for some reason with a new little one. Lean heavy on our abba. Forget everything and sit and hold your baby and watch a movie. That's my afternoon plan. Hugs

Christina said...

Praying for you Stephanie! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Karen. I'm glad that you have help there with your kiddos too!

petrii said...

Stephanie,
I have been keeping up with the Head family since you posted about her cancer being back. I have been praying for them and following them through Caring Bridge. What a special family. I have also been watching Daniel's videos and following his Tweets. Heartbreaking and joyous all at the same time. They are amazing people of faith!!!

Hang in there sweet one. Hug those babies tight and breathe into Him who loves you so.

Have a Blessed weekend,
Dawn

Faith said...

So very sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend. I know your heart is burdened for them. Praying for you all.